Gigging. It's what we do, or, at least, what we attempt. The "music business" was never easy. Even less so now. Though I've never lost (or even misplaced) my "rose colored glasses", they can, at times, pick up smudges. I still hang on (usually without too much difficulty) to a sense of "calling", and a belief in the promise and possibility that (ever deepening) musical connections can make. Though committed to my path as a soloist, I am grateful for the sideman work (and the people I work with), even if it does mean playing (some) private parties. Gigs are gigs - especially now.

Enjoyed being a "civilian" last night, spending time with the family in Ocean City, MD. The most fulfilling parts are in the "Best Things in Life are Free" (at least in theory) category. It was a relief to get off of the amusement pier, and simply walk up to the ocean, taking it in from all directions. Later on, Robbie spent the best part of an hour taking in a "street-corner" violinist. I am continually impressed with my children (feels like the wrong word, but, kids or offspring aren't working right now, either). It's easy to spend a ton of money down there, but once one steps out of that lane, the value of the experience seems to rise.

More catch-up. This was the sign out on the lawn of the New Castle Presbyterian Church on May 17, when I was featured at their "Jazz Coffee House". An informal setting, and a really fun gig. Will probably have a couple of posts for YouTube, but it may take another week or two.

This past Wednesday night, I attended the Ken Poplowski concert at the Mainstay, with Robbie (my 12 year old). He loved it, and now loves the Mainstay (this was his first time there). Good deal! The "house band" included the Redd brothers: Robert (piano) and Chuck (drums and vibes). For all their presence and noterity in this area, this is the first time I've heard them. Excellent. The show they put on was much like concerts I've played (mostly with the Midiri Brothers) a million times, which made it even more fun for me to watch, as I knew everything that was going on (including who missed what chord change, and the pseudo train wreck at the end of one tune when four of the musicians went 4 different ways - all normal stuff). As I've written here before, this (local) area is blessed with a strong arts presence. I think I'll stick around :)

Have let a bunch of time go by here, so time to play catch-up. We'll start with my birthday pie (why not?), from 2 weeks ago. Starting some months before, I was already thinking ahead to my 2010 birthday, when I'll turn 50.
Just booked another (last minute) piano dedication concert, this time at the Central Baptist Church, in Millville, NJ on Sun. June 7, at 6(?)pm. Will be an interesting day, if the start date holds for the Sunday jazz brunch, in Easton, MD, from 11am-2pm. Also a little bit of a late gig on the Saturday night before. It'll be fun!
Click here to check out a recent piano dedication in Upper Marlboro, MD:
http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=3BDAE73A2E3C439D

Had a unique opportunity in a concert a few weeks ago to receive 2 separate video recordings: one, a wider angle house shot, and the other, a closer shot with different angles throughout the concert. Special thanks to Dean Boshart, Sr for the latter, shown here. My friend, Chris Webb, is already working on a video project incorporating both. There may be some potential here. Meanwhile, here is my "ADD Improvisation" from that evening (click through the video to be taken to the YouTube page with a more detailed description).

Received this photo from the "Mutt Strutt", now, a week ago. We were set up on the courthouse lawn, with dozens of dogs (parading, strutting, jumping, dancing....) off to the right (my left). All I could do was keep my eyes on the festivities, and react as best I could. If you've never been to Chestertown, it's an historic, and pretty place. It's likely that George Washington walked where I'm perched. I suspect he would "keep off the grass". A really good idea on this day :)

It's that time (already)! A couple of April days in the '90s(!) reinforce that winter is long gone. The humidity that characterizes the summertime in this region was largely absent, so it wasn't that uncomfortable. This year I didn't wait until our yard was a jungle to begin the grass cutting (but we weren't far off) :)

Had great fun this past weekend, including a double (gig) on Saturday. Played themed and background music, in the morning, for Chestertown's Mutt Strutt: a Kent County Humane Society fundraiser. If you were there, you'll understand that the gig boiled down to "follow the bouncing Courtney" :) That evening, worked for (outstanding saxophonist) Dave Schiff at the Commonwealth Awards event at the Hotel DuPont in Wilmington Delaware. 2 contrasting gigs, if there ever were :) This gig was the first time playing with a full rhythm section (or a bass player at all) since last playing with the Midiri band in October! Fun to see and work with Bill Stumm again. Speaking of fun, I think Dave enjoyed himself (as I did):

"Hi Joe: Thank you !!!! for your fantastic playing (as usual). You make the gigs so much fun and such a wonderful musical experience. Your playing really inspires me. I can't wait for the next gig we have together."

Cool! :)

(

The marquis for (this past) Sunday night's concert. Watched some of the video (taken from the video booth on the church's equipment), and am pleased with what I saw/heard. It is gratifying that others (based on what they tell me) are recognizing what is apparent to me: that I am in a new (or deeper, perhaps) place. One friend describes it as "flying free now". Not to be too dramatical, though :) Suffice to say, the expression continues to mature, and it is humbling, because I did not get here on my own, nor can I do this "myself". There is a long way to go, but I feel the communication is making sense (connection with the listener) more than ever. Can you tell I'm enjoying this?

Speaking of video, I'm in the middle right now of posting from one of my health/nursing center programs. Even though the video is taken from an odd angle (of necessity), this new post of "Stars Fell on Alabama" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FFQS6M-cI8 really does capture that Dave McKenna "spirit", and so it now gets a slot in the "In the Spirit of Dave McKenna" playlist. Check it out: http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=38A6077C2E4387B2

Didn't realize that it has been 2 weeks since I last checked in. Oops! Things are beginning to pick up now, in a manner that feels like "foundation building". The "music business" (on the local and regional levels, at least) is suffering, and musicians are hurting. I'm continuing to stake my tent pegs where I've often placed them; outside of the regular gigging network. There is no question (in my mind) now that (on multiple levels) my (immediate, at least) future, and, certainly the foundation of my path, is as a soloist (sorry about all the parentheticalness and run-on tendencies). The time may come soon when I only list select public concerts (all or nearly all solo) on my schedule. Had a successful concert in Newark, DE last night that suggests I may be doing (some of) the right things now.

Okay, what does any of this have to do with the above photo? Nothing. I was waiting for my scheduled performance time, in a retirement community that I regularly visit, "having set up shop" in a small, unoccupied room, to get some work done. A resident came in to check his e-mail on the public computer, and began polite conversation. When he asked my name, my answer provoked a few blinks, and a hard stare. "Oh", he said, "I didn't recognize you without your piano" :)

Here is a view that I haven’t had in about 15 years. Some don’t know that, from 1979 to 1990 (age 19 to 30) I was the organist and music director of a church in NJ (where I grew up). In fact, my major instrument in college wound up being split between piano and (classical) organ, where I had the benefit of studies with Dennis Elwell. The organ is a entirely different beast than the piano, and, back in the day, I enjoyed traveling that unique path, alongside of the piano. When I put it down, though, it was for good. Well, maybe. Over the past months of enjoying (yes, enjoying) worshipping at the Presbyterian Church of Chestertown (and “hanging with the musicians” “after the gig” :) ), the bug that has either remained dormant within me, or that Kate (the smiling organist) has somehow passed on, appears to have bitten. Took my first crack (in many years) at it today. It’s a waaaay different animal. Okay, first, I need to find shoes….

This is the view from the back of the main building of the Heron Point retirement community, in Chestertown (MD). Like most of the communities I serve, I've been around for awhile (in this case, since around 1994). Plenty of time to fine interesting places to take walks. This walking pier juts out to the Chester River (you can make out the Gazebo in the middle of the photo if you use your imagination). Have always enjoyed the beauty of creation, and, living near the ocean, have taken to the calm and peaceful majesty of the water to remind me of the work, presence, and hand of God. We didn't plan to move to Chestertown nearly 10 years ago, but, through providential circumstances, found ourselves living backed up to a small creek that flows from the other side of this river not far from here. We were hooked. If the tide was in, you could put a canoe in the water and paddle out to the river. Did that once (in a borrowed canoe). No real desire to be a boater, just to enjoy the beauty. We now live on the other side of the river, but upstream a little, and about 1/4 mile in. No more view, but it's never far away. Beauty, majesty, and peace are never far away. Usually, you just have to open your eyes.

Here comes the sun!

Decided a few days ago that I would try to get to bed (a little) earlier, so that I can keep going after the bus leaves for school in the morning (by 6:45am - often, I would try to catch 45 minutes or so of additional sleep). Along with this is the reinstatement of the morning (power-ish) walk. This morning (yes, I know it's Saturday, but disciplines are disciplines) I watched the sun rise as I shuffled up the road.

Every day is new. A reminder of the obvious doesn't hurt when things (in some realms) feel stuck, or glued in place. Am waiting or a few things to finalize, including a fall solo performance date at the Mainstay (My last dedicated solo concert there was in '05). This is encouraging, as now I have relationships as a solo performer with the 3 area concert venues (including the Prince and Church Hill theatres). Gigging is a little lighter than it should be, at present, but all things at the proper time.

Yesterday morning I had the privilege of being the invited guest for the dedication of the newly acquired piano at the Melwood Church of the Nazarene, in Upper Marlboro, MD. Doesn't sound like the name of a town that sits just outside the Washington, DC beltway, and a neighbor to Andrews Air Force Base, does it (must be the Marlboro part)? Though I live in the very rural Eastern Shore of MD, 30 miles from any town of more than 5,000 people, I'm actually only about an hour and a half (or less) from several metropolitan areas, including (much of) greater DC. My connection with this church is largely through my personal connection with the pastor, John Nielson. When you sift it down, it all rests on relationships. Performing mainly as a soloist now, the relationship with an audience is more clearly in view. Continue to feel I am on a called path

For such a rural area, it's amazing how many arts events can be happening simultaneously. That's Charie', who is assistant stage manager this year for her high school musical (one guess), about 3 hours before opening last night. I'll be going tomorrow, as last night I want to the production of "Doubt" at the Prince Theatre, which meant I missed the opening night of "Of Mice and Men" at the Church Hill Theatre (I'll catch that next week). And that's not all (but enough for me)...

Change of subject: Lessons for the Thoughtful Pianist is undergoing a transformation which will be complete by Tuesday with the posting of the first 2 videos on the Lessons for the Thoughtful Pianist YouTube channel. This is considerably more user friendly that the old version. Now it's time to spread the word!

This is what it looked like Monday morning from my front door. The little red car is my son (Joe Jr) crawling to work after nearly 2 hours of digging his car out. Needless to say, schools were closed, on Tuesday as well as Monday. Today (Wednesday), things are returning to normal. Am thankful for this opportunity to have enjoyed the winter beauty.
Came across an interesting blog post the other day:

http://geoffreykeezer.blogspot.com/2009/03/bring-back-groove-in-jazz-that-is.html

He said it so well, I won't even try.

Just as I was beginning to resign that this would be a winter without enjoying a real snowfall, here comes the March Lion! These cell phone pictures were taken on either side of midnight (tonight) out my front and back doors. There is something serene and beautiful about the snow. Of course the conduct of our daily activities in this is another story. Thankfully (for me) tomorrow (Monday) is a work at home day, so I will enjoy the scenery. To me, it's much like a truly God-centered church service. Makes me smile deeply.

The bustle of "during", and the tranquility of "after" the "Women Helping Women" fund raising event at the Prince last Thursday. From the time of leaving the Midiri Brothers touring band (last October) until recently, I had just assumed (without challenging the idea) that continued travelling, this time solo, was my path. Am increasingly reminded, however, of the scope and breadth of opportunity (to serve others) in my own backyard.

It finally happened. Don't think this is easy, it has actually taken lots of practice on the Wii to get here. Back when I was bowling for real, I never quite made it. Came close, though, somewhere around 10 "279" games (11 strikes and one 9/spare from frames 2 to 9). All in practice, though, since by that time I was gigging every night and couldn't bowl in a sanctioned league anymore. Having the Wii has been a nice little distraction at home for a few minutes at a time (okay, sometimes as long as half an hour). Back in the real world...

From an e-mail to a friend earlier today:

"Our Women Helping Women (to be performed Thursday at the Prince - I am "musical director" this year) rehearsal was last night. A change this year in that individual presentations are replaced by group efforts. Solos exist only within/alongside of ensembles, and everyone participates. I'm surprised and pleased with how strong it is. Memories of my CCN (Chestertown Church of the Nazarene, where I served as Worship Arts Director) days, as groups self harmonize, and I scribble down my own chord chart as I hear a song for the first time. Did I tell you of my near uprooting last year to take a theatre gig in Cripple Creek Colorado? When I walked out last night into the sleepy town, I could imagine I was there, going home after another night at the theatre. Weird, but good. Also, I'm going to accept Steve's musical (Triumph of Love) for this fall at CHT (Church Hill Theatre). Have had some discouragements lately, and it's nice to be reminded of the joy of uplifting others through support and encouragement, and to be reminded of God's presence in the small places."

That last part keeps being driven home. It's a beautiful thing.

Back in October of '07, I copied in a Dave McKenna video, and now discover that it has been removed. Here is (I believe) the same video clip, reposted by someone else. Fortunately, there is now much more of Dave available on YouTube. Sadly, Dave passed last October ('08) at the age of 78. It may be starting to sink in that I am somewhat of a "spiritual descendant" of this approach to playing. It is also sinking in that, as I attempt to reach out to more of a "general public" audience through my "Piano Improvisation" concerts, that it is not the only road I am called to travel. There is also the "Seniors" audience, which has given me much opportunity over the last 15 years - the "Christian" audience, where there appears to remain a niche (even if a small one) for an arts-based approach, and - the "Jazz" audience. To be honest, the latter has fallen off my "radar screen"of late, but I now feel called to reevaluate, in light of recent events (within my life, and outside of it). I'll be more earnestly studying (and enjoying) Dave's music now, as I consider the void this wonderful (and humble) musician has left in the jazz community.

Ahhh! It didn't last long, but I was able to enjoy it briefly this morning. A snow scene, to me, is beauty and peace. Here in the (geographically) "humid sub-tropics", we have all four seasons, but more of a moderate winter. We can have mega snow storms, but have can also (though unusual) have entire winters with negligible snowfall. Enjoyed it while it lasted. Peace, be still, and know... Kind of like a "reminder", or a message. Appropriate after this emotional roller coaster weekend. All told, though, it was very good. Some nice YouTube posts are in the pipeline, and God (to my view) continues to lead.

A full weekend coming up, with the Church Hill Theatre, and the Presbyterian Church of Chestertown as bookends. Last week, when this marquis was posted, Charie' began receiving text messages from her friends wondering what her brother was doing at the Theatre. I think we all have it straight, now.

Posted the first videos on my new (3rd) 2009 YouTube channel. don't know anyone who adds a new channel each year (by 2020 I'll need a full time employee just to administer this), but it continues to make sense to me to organize and document the "evolution". Next weekend I have both the "Evening of Piano Improvisation" concert at the Church Hill Theatre, and a concert at the Presbyterian Church of Chestertown, after which the 2009 channel will really get rolling!

Everyone in my family, and those who've known me long enough, has a "Joe has no night vision" story to tell - often involving a near "collision" while walking in poor lighting; avoided only by a warning from someone waiting for me to notice, and eventually intervening. Ironic(al) that my profession requires so much late night driving (we'll discuss the sleepiness some other time). I (and my guardian angels) make it work, in part by driving slower at night (also motivated by the increased deer activity). While outside this evening, standing alongside my car in the driveway, it seemed sensible to go and retrieve the trash can. I proceed cautiously, avoiding the small trees in the front yard (which I sometimes don't notice prior to impact) as I make my way to the street. Perhaps I've not attempted to retrieve the trash can at night before, as it was weird to walk toward the object that I couldn't see, though I knew where it was (having put it there last night). Kind of like faith, perhaps; where "knowing" and not (necessarily) "seeing" provide one's compass. Eventually the blue can came into faint view as I came up upon it, providing what was necessary to pick it up (the trash guys have a thing for leaving the can on it's side) and wheel it back to the house. For whatever reason, this routine task made an impression on me tonite. Faith and sight. I'm sure I'll be thinking some more about that (yes, that's a picture of our trash can in the dark - from my perspective).

Today it happened, we passed 100,000 total views on my video channels. Although I have a (slow but) steady stream of new subscribers and commenting visitors, my channels have not achieved the momentum of some of the pianists who post (particularly those who post jazz education videos). I'm actually in a funny kind of non-category, as categories go. Not purely "trad" jazz, not (to some) truly "modern" jazz, certainly not "smooth" jazz, sometimes not even "jazz" at all (fine with me, as I am largely avoiding that word in describing myself these days). This I'm used to: people "find" me, one listener at a time. Discoveries are good, vital, really. As you may know, although jazz fans are among those who "find" me, I'm really not playing to this narrow niche. Rather, seeking to "connect" with whoever is in the room (as much as I can). This is misinterpreted by a few as "compromise", or a lack of proper substance. I believe (and hope) that it is best understood as authenticity. It took many years to come to understand who, as an artist, I am. Now, I feel I can run with it.

One more (perhaps) "Christmas" post. After stumbling across the Winterfest lights display in Ocean City, MD a few weeks ago, I planned to bring the family down over Christmas break (That's the back of Robbie's head, and, above that, the top of Charie's hat). Like Robbie would say: "That makes me happy!"

The waning days of Christmas (count to twelve, or, if a musician, count to 4 - 3 times). The lower photo is from my New Year's eve gig with Dave Ross (his gig, but I get to tag along) at "The Inn at 202 Dover", in Easton MD. As upscale as an Inn/B&B can be. Just a small slice of the "atmosphere". The top photo is a "slice" of the super-sized (live) Christmas tree still situated (as of tonite, anyway) in the lobby of the Globe, in Berlin, MD, where I gigged with Mike and Holly. A part of me remains melancholy, bordering on sad about now, as Christmas retreats. That's the worst part about Christmas - it ends. Okay, not the meaning, but you still get it. In opposition to all this, however, our live tree (that we've had for over three weeks) is still taking water at near the pint a day rate as when we first brought it home. Never had this happen before. Usually it quits after the first few days (if not right away), and by now, the needles are starting to pile up (Carol "decrees" that the tree stay up until at least her birthday -1/14). Never in a hurry to "disassemble" Christmas. Hope yours was joyful. Happy New Year!

We got a Wii for the family this Christmas (yes, that's our television screen). It took a few games for me to navigate the subtleties of Wii bowling, but I think I'm getting it. Many senior communities actually have Wii bowling tournaments now. I'm sure there are others also. Reminds me of the silly predictions I heard years ago that the electronic keyboard would soon completely displace the piano, Yeah, right. They are convenient, though. And, back to the Wii, it does now seem unlikely that any new construction senior community would include a bowling alley (yes, it happens. I'll try to remember to take a picture sometime at the Philadelphia Protestant Home). It's all fun. Does take me back though to my high school days, when my ambitions were more toward professional bowling than music. My abilities, however, leaned otherwise.
Our family has had a nice Christmas, and I hope you and yours as well. The church I now attend had 3 Christmas Eve services. Of course, I went to the last one (11pm). I'm glad I did. "Cultural Christmas" alone seems awfully empty. I wish the meaning and presence of Jesus for everyone.

Slightly fuzzy, but as good as I could get at close range with my cell phone camera. We have a neat store (among others) in town that sells clever and pseudo-eccentric stuff. Check the product description. That's my kind of analysis! I'm increasingly reluctant to nail anything down these days. Good grief - my mind just played the tune "My Dreams are Getting Better All the Time", with the words: "I'm getting more postmodern all the time". Sometimes, that's kind of scary. More often though, it's a grand opportunity for peace and trust. My favorite paraphrase of the proverb: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and never rely on what you think you know". Remember that, Joe.

Brittany (10 years old) "showed me up" today. Turns out I was her "warm up act" during one of my nursing community presentations - which I found out about when she (fearlessly) walked up to me, holding her music and smiling, as I finished my program. She has proud grandparents who, along with all the residents, enjoyed her little set. When Brittany finished, I asked her if we could play a duet. No problem - Brittany is fearless, and did a great job!

Gigging every which place means a constant change of scenery. Drove tonite to Ocean City (MD) for a private gig (Christmas party, of course). The best part was that the community center (where the gig was) was adjacent to the annual (and extensive) Winterfest lights event. They even had a "Happy Birthday Jesus" display (how did that happen?)!

The race is on, and the finish line may be just a little too far away. It would be cool if I could reach 100,000 total video views by the end of the year. As of now, we're at 94,703 (combined total). In YouTube land, these are not really big numbers, believe it or not. Nonetheless, YouTube has made a major impact in reaching those who are specifically interested in what I am doing, and I have made many new connections. There is no geographic discrimination on line, so now I have friends everywhere. Curiously, this is not really in synch with with my current performance plan, which is wholly local/regional (for now). I can imagine, though, over time, that everything will merge in God's good plan. Perhaps, when it's the right time to push out the borders of solo piano improv concerts, an audience will already be in place. Right now, we're working on the momentum where I live. My next solo improv concert is at the Church Hill (MD) Theatre on Fri 1/30/09. I am told there is already a group of 25 planning to come, originating from a single (enthusiastic) person who attended the Prince last month. Just one little pocket where the "buzz" is apparently spreading. Exciting stuff. If only for the clarity of vision, and purpose that I have found for my career in recent months, then 2008 truly is"my year" (thanks, Ruthie!)

From a small lounge/library in a Denton, Md nursing home.
Going on 15 years now that I've been serving seniors, primarily as a music therapist. It took only a short time, relatively, to adjust to the environment. These days, in many respects it's "down to a science". In a different (upscale) facility, once a month, I play for the "resident tea", where many enjoy coffee, tea, and desserts (just before lunch, but no one is keeping score). Tom (from social services) also attends. Throughout the hour he canvasses the room, eventually coaxing most of the ladies (individually) to dance. More than anything, this defines and structures my presentation. Each resident dances to a different song, the length of which is determined by the success of the dancing. Tom and I share this "science": timing the dance for each resident, pacing the space in between, as well as each specific dance tempo (though the waltz and the jitterbug can look amazingly similar). It's a well oiled machine, though Tom and I have never discussed this. In fact, Tom and I have never even had a conversation (about anything). It's no different than working on a gig w/ other musicians. If you're a pro, you know what to do, and the gig happens. That's my world.

Uncle John wants you!!

Going to an event/gig is often knowing little more than when it starts, and what to wear. Everything else you need to know, is learned upon arrival, or "in flight". Turns out that I was the "House accompanist" for a 2 hour fund raiser this morning for the Prince Theatre on WCTR (the local radio station). What fun! Got to accompany John Schratwieser, and Sue Matthews (2 of my favorites!), and just hang and take it all in. Also "tutored" Sue on e-mailing cell phone pictures to yourself (as she was surprised to see the mornings "festivities" on my laptop). It appears that she really thinks I know what I'm doing :) With apologies to the few participants I missed, the remaining pictures are posted in the next entry (above - dated tomorrow, as is just past midnight), without comment.

From a recent walk thru town.

Added a new senior nursing facility to my schedule yesterday. First time in awhile. Haven't been pursuing anything new in this realm for some time (until a recent mailing with an updated description of my approach to music therapy), and probably let attrition set in too much. Am aware that the clock is ticking toward that time when I become decreasingly relevant (culturally) to seniors. My Music Therapist certification is something that I usually keep low key, as I still consider myself a performing pianist. It all fits together, though; the common denominator being the perspective that music makes connections - to the (potential) benefit of the listener/participant. The less it is about me, and the more about the connection, the better it is.

Just received the following message in a text comment box from one of my YouTube posts (edited):
"I don't even know where to begin. Maybe just, "How much fun must it be, to be Joe Holt?" I'm overwhelmed, agonizingly envious, and thankful for having discovered a master pianist. 'And I subscribe to 'em all, Mr. Holt, ******, ******, ******...etc. All gifted; generous in sharing their talents. But the "happiness" with which you generate achingly inventive, wonderful sounds from that instrument is utterly compelling. This is my first "text comment post" ever. Glad it goes to you. "

My reply:
"Me too. The most "fun" of all is the growing understanding of the "connections" that the music facilitates. I'm 48 years old, and in many respects, I feel (almost) like a teenager (with a 48 year old's worldview) :) Your comment (and others like it) provides needed validation and encouragement as I travel this path, and I am most appreciative..."

I don't know if a day goes by anymore where my "conviction" of this "calling" is not encouraged/validated. Just telling Carol (my wife) earlier today that I am feeling this on nearly every gig. Honestly, though, am seeing this from the "big picture" perspective: I have now, by God's good grace, been able to set a foot into the door of this next "place", and am met with both the awe and gratitude of "arrival", and the sobering humility of the growth opportunities that lie ahead, as well as the joyful anticipation this brings.
All of this said, it seems realistic now that I begin this path of "solo improv" concerts; sharing "discoveries" with new friends. No illusion here that this isn't the beginning of another long (and winding) road. In fact, I've recently put on paper my 5 year plan/goals for this path. One step at a time.

Last evening was the "town lighting" in Chestertown. As I roamed around, I was struck by God's good providence. We never planned to live in (actually just outside - in the next county, and over the bridge, but still within walking distance of) Chestertown. Now it's going on 10 years. A loose translation of the proverb reads: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Never rely on what you think you know." When will I ever learn?

Good grief! I didn't realize that over a week has passed since my last entry. Have had several excellent gigs and shows - the concert at St Martin's last Friday night at least rivals the Prince for the connection from the bench. Will get some posting up eventually from that, but there are a few in the pipeline to get posted first. In time. In time, everything in it's time. There continues to be positive fallout from the Prince concert, and a sustaining "buzz". Now I've a date at the Church Hill Theatre on the books (Friday 1/30/09) for another solo improv concert. Will have a concrete indication that evening of how much momentum there really is. Are we there yet?

Okay, now, here we are. The posting is in progress from the Prince Theatre concert on Friday night (3 up, and probably 3 to go). This is one of the several improvisation "demonstrations" of the evening, and , it seems, the crowd favorite (at least I kept hearing about it afterward): The "ADD Improv". Apparently now a staple for future shows. Here is the info on the YouTube post: "This concert contained several fun demonstrations of musical improvisation; this one being a collage of 5 melodies chosen by audience members. Cards were distributed with selections in the following categories: Traditional melodies, Christmas songs, classical themes, marches, and novelty tunes. The post picks up with my examining the cards selected."

Now late Saturday night. No gig tonight, so I went with Carol to see "Crucible" performed at QAC High School, where Charie (techie girl) was running lights. I have a new friend in Shelagh Grasso, the drama teacher who brought her classical pianist father to my Prince Theatre concert last night. Also Marsha, Barbi, and Trevor from "Island", and many other friends. Last night forged a new diameter for the envelope, and was (at least) one of my better performances. Captured it all on video - give me a week or so for YouTube posts, and a concert playlist. Rob (Hilty) also came over to record the show for me. Might I (finally) have a "live in concert" CD that I am willing to release? I'll let you know. Thanks to all who came. it was a blast!!

Well, look at that! Of course, everything is relative, as I can remember as far back (into my youth) as 29 cents/gallon - but that doesn’t count (now). Gasoline is now less than half of what it was at it’s peak, not too many months ago. Musicians are hit especially hard by high gas prices, as “you have to go wherever the gig is” (which is often not close by). Now, gigging seems a bit more “realistic” - but only a bit. No one gets into this business because it makes sense.

Coming Friday.... Suffice to say, I'm really looking forward to this. In many respects, this is symbolic (at least) to me of a new starting point, and somewhat of a redefinition of my public performances. Depending how you define jazz, sure, I play it - but now I am wholly persuaded that is the wrong description of what I (at least intend to) project. Perhaps the real problem in jazz, especially among many practitioners, are the agendas. This style, that approach, this era, that statement. I had a wonderful gig Saturday night subbing at a private club with two great Phila area musicians, neither of whom I knew or knew me. What we all appreciated about the gig was the shared creativity, enjoying what each other had to "say", and stretching on the lesser trod paths. Improvisation is now my term of choice (at least for my solo performances): no agendas, no pretense, just a connection - beyond me, and beyond my limitations.

HA! (click on image to enlarge and read)

It was cool to vote today, and to take Robbie (who will be 12 in 2 weeks, and surpass my height in 1 inch) in with me. We both got "I Voted" stickers. It is also cool that a lot of gig opportunities have been popping up; some of them soon to be reflected on the schedule (though most of them private/corporate). Am also enjoying preparing for the Prince Theatre concert next Friday, which hopefully will raise the bar and reset the template for my continued path. Hope you can come (if you're nearby)!

Spent some long overdue and profitable time with my "Chaplain" travelling to and from the concert at the Hollywood (MD) Church of the Nazarene, on Sunday evening. David Sparks is a former pastor there, but now (and for some time) a chaplain at the Dover air Force Base mortuary - and truly doing "God's work". Long time listeners to "Joe Holt's Notes on the Radio" may recall the segment: "The Irregular Chaplain" (not an advertisement for Metamucil). The concert itself went well - all things considered - and should have posts up on all 3 video channels (inclu. GodTube) in the coming days.

Winding down late Monday evening (the post listing as Tuesday because it's now after midnight). Have lately taken Monday as my "day off" (when I try to wrestle myself from the routines), but have postponed that until later in the week, in part, to deal with the end of the month stuff. I feel good (though, honestly, somewhat vulnerable) about the current vision, and general state of things regarding my career and creative expression. Wrote a long e-mail to someone today about where I feel I am now. Looking at it, upon completion, as apt to copy in a portion for "public view":
"This has been an intense few months, and now the "smoke is beginning to thin", and I can begin to access the landscape. Perhaps the most important recent "development" is the dissolution of my involvement with the Midiri Brothers touring band. This was settled upon - amicably - a week ago upon returning home from Sun Valley. Lots of implications and possibilities here. It really does seem time now to go full tilt toward building my future on solo piano concerts (while, of course, continuing to participate in other adventures). Am looking to my concert at the Prince on 11/14 as a potential turning point, on several levels. Stylistically, and in approach, I am looking to push the borders (starting with the Prince): both in the movement toward more contemporary tunes, and in improvisational performance beyond the trad conception of jazz - including beginning to incorporate classical literature. Have to say that I feel wholly in sync with the concepts expressed by Keith Jarrett in the "Art of Improvisation" interview. Though it all may still correctly be considered "jazz" (at least broadly), the use of that term does not invite the connection to a broader audience that I intend to build. Notice the title of the Prince concert (both on my site, and theirs): "An Evening of Piano Improvisation". Am hopeful for, and am working toward a strong turnout on 11/14 (a full house?). I continue to embrace that God is at work."
Amen.

Final photo taken by Ed Wise. Click on any picture to enlarge.

Back home from the Sun Valley Festival. I purposely did not blog from the trip because, initially, of the uncertainty of my relationship with the band. As the trip progressed, however, the uncertainty faded into an embracing of the current reality: that my time (as a regular - at least) with the Midiri Brothers touring sextet was finished. Tensions have been building throughout the year, but handled professionally, on both sides, to my view. On the trip home, we both (discovered that we) planned to broach the subject to each other. In my case, the determination was solidified during the festival, in their’s, it was a predetermined move. No bridges were burned, at least in our personal rapport, which (the brothers knew) was my first priority. There are a lot of implications to this, of course, and without expounding now, I’ll just say that God is at work, and it’s all good. With the exception of local sideman work, my focus now will be solo piano concert performances. I’ll soon be tweaking my web schedule to reflect this. One disappointment here will be the disruption of my rapport with those outside of my local area, with whom the festival traveling allowed me to visit. God will work that out too - we’ll just have to wait to see how. The Midiri band is in a very good place now, in several respects, and I wish the guys a great ride! The next post will be selected pictures from the festival (that I hoarded instead of immediately posting), posted without comment.

Riding in the dark back to the airport, From Hannibal to (meet me in) St. Louis. 58 miles to go. Another successful gig to an enthusiastic crowd last night. After the gig, while trying to find a place to eat that was open, we stumbled onto Joe’s Diner. This was a real deal, blue collar, Hannibal, MO, greasy plate Joe’s diner. Jimmy had his second fish sandwich of the day (first cod, then catfish). Danny’s pancakes were the diameter of a small car tire. The pie was great. Then back to the hotel to collapse. Roomed with Jimmy last night. Ed (in the adjacent room) set his alarm for 5am and said he would wake us up. At 5am there comes a bang on the wall. Our wake up call, perfect for Hannibal, MO. Speaking of Ed, it didn’t take long for him to fire up his I-Pod, and grace us with his 40 million jazz toon library, as has been the atmosphere for all the car travel. An enthusiastic chap, Ed is. Required, at some level, for this business.

On the road again. This time for our final concert in Hannibal, MO this evening. Some of the crowd last night were the agenda driven trad fans. There is an inner fundamentalist in many, if not all of us. When it “escapes”, it defines value by adherence to preference. The crowd, as a whole, truly enjoyed and appreciated the group, despite that it wasn't Dixieland (as I overheard someone say, in essence). Jimmy is now laughing uncontrollably (he does that sometimes). For the most part, though, he is driving relatively straight. Only a few rumble strips :)

Riding again, this time on a 5 hour trip from Decatur to somewhere in the Ozarks for another concert tonite. Last night was my first gig w/ the Midiri band since the Orange County, Ca festival (2 months), and it went well. The turnout was strong, and the reception was enthusiastic. Shared a couple of my solo CDs with Bill Hickerson, who hosts a jazz show on WQNA Sundays from 6am to noon central time (small staion but with internet streaming). Had a short interview and read a promo spot. See, I knew I’ve been practicing my “radio voice” for something!
Quote from Jimmy (just in): “Nothing like water to make the inside of your mouth feel all wet”.

We’re off now, and in the air from Phila to St Louis (for a weekend of concerts in the Midwest with the Midiri band). Plunged back into my “world” with jazz gigs starting Monday (the day after the show closed). The theatre was quite a different approach to things than is the norm for me. Among the most striking; the idea of the “project” which starts and stops, having a defined beginning and ending. I am made aware, thru this experience, that (improvisational) performances (for me) are a continuum. The playing stops and starts, but nothing opens or closes. Neither are there “stages of development” where things gradually come together, eventually reaching the point of “presentable”. In my “world”, it’s more like a teacher extemporaneously lecturing in a classroom, or a panel discussion on a “talking heads” television show. The preparation for the presentation is the life you have lived up until that point (or, perhaps, the sum total of the experiences related to what you are doing). Some years ago, before Miles (Davis) passed, he was the recipient of some sort of lifetime achievement award. As part of the ceremony, he would be presenting a concert. I happened to see an interview by a young (trying to be “hip”) reporter who asked Miles “How long do you practice for a gig like this?”. I remember bracing myself for what might come out of Miles’ mouth, but his answer was perfect: “30 years”. This past Sunday, during the closing song of the final show, I saw (in my mind), while we were playing, the image of a “finish line” - which we all crossed successfully (and uninjured). Now that the “structure” has been built, furnished, exhibited, closed down, and “sealed up”, I am back to my familiar place - where the door is off the hinges, and the windows are always open.

It's over. And a great experience it was! Click on the photo to enlarge.
Bottom, from left: Ray, Tom, Kerissa, Shannon, Nina, Rebbecca, Samantha, Felicia, Stacey, Trevor, Ron.
Top, from left: Steve (fearless leader), Jane, Brian, Marsha, Josh, Owen, Ryan, Herb, me, Kate, Charie'.
Everyone agrees that we broke new ground (for Church Hill Theatre) with this show. Ultimately, both Steve's vision, and my own, were realized (to, at least, a considerable extent). The cast worked long, hard, and sacrificially, and, at the end, owned this performance. The musicians moved this score beyond a "proper" reading of the printed music, to a place of genuine "Island" authenticity. One cast member joked that prior to the arrival of the "orchestra" for dress rehearsals and performances, they were preparing "Once on This Cul-De-Sac". In the end, we accomplished what I laid out to the cast in our first music rehearsal: we found consensus, and the groove. Kudos to all!

The cast and crew for "Once on this Island" - posted outside the theatre. Click on the image for a larger view. That's Charie'(!) on the third row.
One weekend to go. Historically, for this theatre, we will have our largest audiences this weekend, possibly multiple sell-outs. The excitement/buzz has been growing from show to show. Audiences increasingly enthused, and performances (generally speaking) increasingly solid. Am looking forward to this weekend - then back to the (my) “real world”…

Photo by Leon Wise, taken after the concert at Heron Point on Thursday evening. Though the theatre continues (this weekend and next), the demands (of just performing) are less. Now at this point, and post-family vacation, it feels like I am transitioning back to "normal". It also feels like the "momentum" remains broken, and not yet back to my performing "best" (whatever that means). One gig at a time.

We opened this weekend. Everything came together just when it needed to. Today was our strongest by far. In my role of traffic cop (responsible for getting the pit band to "groove", while maintaining the connection with the actors on stage), it is now becoming more comfortable to deal with this while actually "reading" music (follow the dots) :) My initial work was with the cast, several weeks ago, in working out the vocal parts. The singers then being prepared, it came time to work out the musicians to the point at which I promised the cast we would be for them: a "groove" to grab on to (while I also pointed out that this comes - ideally - from each individual participant, reaching out to "hold hands" at a common place). Some actually get it (all I can hope for), and tonight we proved that we can pull the notes off of the printed page and play as we feel it, and the singers/dancers can lock in with us, and feel secure in the support. Of course, I may have no idea what I'm even talking about - but everyone agreed we rocked today! 2 weekends left - hope you can come! church hill theatre website

A few days off with my family - in Niagara Falls. I was here when 13 years old, and no one else in my family has at all. Before circumstances changed, which resulted in my needing to come off the Midiri cruise (happening now), Carol had already secured vacation time from work. The good part is now we could go somewhere as a family (almost - our oldest, Joe Jr, is now entrenched in work). Tomorrow we will drive away from the falls area and into Ontario a little bit. this will allow us to experience Canada as more than a resort strip resembling Atlantic City. It's nice being with my family - and a "civilian".

Vocalist Rod Dixon observes: "When it's all over and they go home, the people don't remember what you sang (played), they do remember how you made them feel". This parallels my experience, and two recent comments from seniors (in my music therapy work) come to mind:
Around the corner, and out of view, I overheard a nursing home resident being asked if she enjoyed the (my piano music) program. She was enthusiastic in stating her pleasure in having attended, and that she enjoyed herself, while adding "I don’t remember what he did". Look at this beyond the (potential) obvious, and Rod’s words ring true. Another resident, as she thanked me for the presentation added "It made me think of someone else beside myself". This instructs me that it isn’t (just) about the notes, and the end game is not about what you hear with your ears. The words or the notes direct us to a destination; where we have the opportunity to "get it". This broadens my awareness to see that I am, at times, too concerned about the notes I play, and what others may think (as I become stuck "within myself"). At these moments (which I just observed in myself while watching a recent gig on video), I'm "speaking" more than "listening". The common/surface presumption is to move forward (according to my ordering) when the real deep power is to move in "reverse". The spiritual connection, rooted in love, will lead to the pure expression that originates from God. People will call this "emotion" or "conviction" as it is expressed. It is the communication of the "soul", or the "renewed mind". Ultimately, it’s not (about) me, or up to me to connect with others through music. This is the work of God, to which we succumb (rather than attain), and through which we are blessed.

Received this evening: the Midiri band (minus Jimmy, who travelled with his family) post-Mammoth festival, during the (3 hour tour) trip to the Reno airport. Gives just a tiny glimpse into the natural beauty of it all. And, for those who may have doubted, yes - I own jeans.

One of the benefits, to me, of gigging are the frequent trips to the shore (in New Jersey) and beaches (DelMarVa - Same sand and water but different lingo. If you get it wrong, someone will correct you). This is the bayside sunset view from the deck at Crabber's Cove. Not as congested this weekend, perhaps because of school starting Monday. Next weekend (Labor Day weekend, and our final gig here of the season) will likely be a different story. Am enjoying the work, and the view.

One final photo from the festival, this time of our hotel - which housed all of the musicians (and some of the guests), and contributed one performance venue (which we did not work this year) to the event. Much of our time was spent walking back and forth across the highway.

Yesterday was our travel day home, and I must say, I continue to be impressed with Southwest Airlines. I'll see Paul Midiri again on Saturday night, as he is subbing for Mike on the Crabber's Cove gig. The rest of the band, though, not until after the cruise. That's another story for another time. Speaking of stories, am thinking about another blog. Not a journal this time, but a place for more lengthy articles and commentary on politics, religion, and art. Playing with a little essay today, provoked when I heard Nancy Pelosi say (clearly) that global warming is reversible by using alternative energy sources. Now we're so much more potent than nature that we can not only "destroy the planet" with our behavior, we can also heal it. Yes, our country was founded on central government directed responsible living... okay, stop now. I'll let you know if that blog ever gets going. Then you can say it, and you won't be the first - "stick to playing the piano" :)

Still Saturday night. Walking back thru the Hilton from our final set (pictured). Weird schedule, but worked out for me. Our sets today didn't begin until 5pm(!). The part that worked out was that I started not feeling well by the late morning. By early afternoon, it would have been difficult to have been on the bandstand. By late afternoon, through lots of ginger ale, and taking it easy (but getting no work done - the flip side to taking it easy), I was back on my feet. We had 3 good sets, and I felt connected throughout. Only 2 sets tomorrow, then it will be over (too quickly). One thing about going home - I won't be thinking about having to go back to the humidity. Apparently, we brought it with us, and it has felt like "home" all weekend. Sorry, Orange County!

Jimmy Lawlor - the sophisticate.

from the Connecticut festival

When finished day one of this (Orange County Ca) festival, I returned to my room to find photos from the Connecticut festival (2 weeks ago) in my e-mail. In contrast to the all tent venues in Connecticut, this weekend is all indoors, and mostly at the Hilton (pictured last post). Ran the camcorder during our set in the Pacific Ballroom yesterday, and captured some good stuff, I think. Won't really know until we get home, though, as our hotel (Holiday Inn across the highway) has disabled the a/v input jacks on the televisions, so I can't get a good listen to it (without the ability to download directly into my laptop, at the present). All in all, quite a good day.

Travel day today, and now in Costa Mesa, Ca. The view from across the highway (where we are staying) at the Hilton, where the bulk of the festival happens. Looking forward to starting at 9:30am tomorrow. A pleasant trip today, although both planes were packed. I've always liked Southwest Airlines. Funny how they started out as "no frills", compared to other carriers at the time. Now, just by not changing, the deck has just about flipped - no charge for 2 checked bags, no extra service charges, free peanuts and snacks with your beverages, friendly service. I doubt they are losing money. Will check in tomorrow.

Our little (and I mean it!) cabins last weekend at the Conn festival. I was in the back building - the rest of us in the front. Hit the ground running this week, with much to do. These festivals create some significant displacement of schedule, resulting in very full days, when at home. Am travelling to the Orange County festival this weekend, so it's another crammed week. I'll try to do better with checking in.

Finished for today - now just after midnight on Sat. Our 4 sets went well today, and the crowds very receptive. My take, initially, here, was that I needed to "emphasize" the "trad" elements of my playing in order to connect with this audience. Not so. That doesn’t mean, however, that we’re not the most "modern" band. While much of the music (apart from us) is "dixieland", and much of the piano playing "barrelhouse", I’ve received enthusiastic comments with (for example) references to Brubeck. As is the case throughout this "realm", I’m learning, there are multiple (competing) "factions". Now my laptop battery is done, I’ll have to post when I get home.

Now in Conneticut, at the festival with the Midiri crew. Late Friday night, after our sets, but, at present, I can’t set a suifficient (cell phone) signal so as to get on line (to access this blog). Instead I am entering this into my personal journal to copy in when able. Will avoid photos this time, because the internet connection, when I do have one, is slow (dial up speed). Add to this that I forgot to bring my computer power cord/charger, so I want to limit time on the laptop. The drive up was draining, especially for Ed (Wise), who drove. I think the limited sleep caught up with me more this afternoon than now (nearly 1am). We had 2 sets tonite, which, all things considered, went well. All outdoor tent venues, in the hot and humid summer. Tomorrow will be interesting. Hey, got a signal now, so I’ll try to post this. See you tomorrow!

Late Tuesday evening, and a brief check-in. Finished up the auditions for "Once On This Island" this evening. Also made the casting decisions, but don't ask me (yet) :) Still have a lot of "shedding" to do on the book. One more post to complete the "pianorama" set from Mammoth - hopefully tomorrow. Click through the above post of the Maple Leaf Rag to see the "annotations", and to find the additional posts. Also, a nice gig with Holly Lane and Shore Jazz last night in Ocean City, Md. Had a nice time with Robbie (my youngest) who rode down with me, and sat thru the entire 1 1/2hr show. Look for a post or two from that sometime soon. Also, some good prospects for solo concerts in the near future. The busyness is thickening. God is (always) at work. Speaking of God, have made the decision to utilize "GodTube" for future Christian song posting. Will be setting that up in the coming weeks. Busyness.

Back to the grind. Much grinding ahead, as auditions for "Once On This Island" begin on Saturday, and rehearsals begin a week later. Am heavy into shedding (not shredding) the book now. 254 pages of reading - fine for a normal musician, however, for many years I've done very little reading. Not my strong suit anyway. Challenges are good. Finally completed listening to the soundtrack today (I do things like this in lots of small segments), and am moved by it. Good thing, as I'll be living with it for some time. Also - changed my mind about posting from the pianorama (my solo set) at the Mammoth festival. As of yesterday, had whittled it down to just one toon (from a half-hour set). Tonite, though, after watching it through, have decided to post the set in it's entirety (separated in to individual posts for each toon), and am now re-ripping the video. Over the next few days, you'll likely see the set grow, one post at a time, on my 2008 YouTube channel. Not my best playing, but I'll put my pride aside (can't help but to keep it close by, though) to share the "pianorama" experience. Have also been reviewing another nursing home program for posting. Honestly, the nursing home set (playing-wise) is a good notch above the festival set (as is often the case with things like this). Guess this just means I've more to learn about "losing myself" in "pressure" situations. That's okay - I feel there's been real progress here. Though I struggled in the festival set - especially toward the beginning, it's nothing that jumps out at you. My "low points" are quite far (it feels) above where they were some years ago. God has provided much encouragement in recent years, and months, and days.

The view from my bedroom window yesterday morning, prior to beginning our travel day home. Now, am back in my office (and to "reality"). I'm glad Charie' could come to Mammoth this year, and so is she. Throughout the trip, I seldom slept for more than a hour at a time - in contrast to passing out early this morning when I arrived home. Throughout the weekend, I was reminded of the blessings of this opportunity. Sometimes, as is often the case with "familial" relationships, you don't see things as clearly as others who may be looking in. Am still somewhat disappointed I couldn't stay on the cruise, and that the Midiri brothers (though still gracious, and understanding of my decision) have to contend with this, among other things. The weekend started out a little weird (for me) as Gary Cattley (my roommate and best friend in the band), is now replaced by Ed Wise, who I'd found difficult to warm up/relate to. By Saturday, though, the camaraderie was building, and I think now we both feel more comfortable about the whole deal (even without this though, change happens, and we adjust). Ed is actually very enthused about this opportunity, and I'm looking forward to riding up with him to Connecticut (weekend after this). He's a fine, and well seasoned musician, and the band is well served to have him. I'll still miss Gary, but it's all good, for all of us.

Our final set this afternoon (no hail storm here, only at the top of the mountain). The band played well, and, as always, was well received. Hecticness preceding the sets (built in to the system much of the time by the scheduling) kept me from setting up the video camera, which I had planned for here. Still have the solo video to post, though. This festival was the first appearance of all 7 members (septet) together, and the festival introduction of the new bassist, Ed Wise. Joe Midiri has now learned to pronounce his name, most of the time. Now, time to pack...

Today was our chance, given a long break between sets, to venture up to the top of Mammoth mountain (11,000+ft) via the gondola. Many, if not most, bring mountain bikes in tow, and ride down via the trails. Got to see some of the view, however, a hail storm greeted us at the top. It (the hail) was fun for about a minute. The local are proud of the scenery, and are displeased that the skies are less than perfectly clear (hard to notice, most of the time, for those of us from the east coast) due to the wild fires elsewhere. At any rate, we had an experience today.

A new venue for the pianomatic this year: the Mammoth Performing Arts Center: a nice little theater venue, and a wonderful Kawai grand. When I have this opportunity (which is not every festival), it is the highlight for me. Likely, there will always be a portion of my energies spent on working as a sideman/in a rhythm section. It is as a soloist , however, that provides, for me, the optimal range of expression. This is not true for everybody - when joining Jazz at the Philharmonic, Oscar Peterson was expected to perform solo, while he wanted a rhythm section. They "settled" for a duo with (bassist) Ray Brown. Different strokes... All the sets (including this one) have gone well. Got reasonable video from the piano set. Will get some posts up in a week or two.

The view from the front yard of our hosts for breakfast this morning. The whole town of Mammoth embraces this festival, and a significant percentage volunteer. The people are all nice, and very receptive to us (musicians). I rejoined the Midiri band (for festival travel) in 2006. As these will usually book far ahead, and are individually negotiated, it wasn't a straight line for my inclusion. Joe did manage to "adjust the contracts" that first year for several of the festivals, including this one. The only one left I haven't participated in is Connecticut, and that will change in 2 weeks. This is the first festival that I've been to 3 times, and I feel the charm.

With the Midiri band during our 3rd, and final set today. my time was divided between the band sets, and the stores (while Charie' shopped). I was happy to discover that the familiar (to me) part of town was walking distance (just under a mile) from our condo (on the "outskirts"). Walking back, however is all uphill. 8,000 feet, remember? We were both happy to find a second Starbucks during our "walking tour" (the first being uptown, and too far to walk). The band sets have gone well - the crowds enthusiastic, and the playing increasingly comfortable. I may run the video camera during one or two of the band sets, and certainly for my (half hour) solo set (in the "pianorama") at 6:15. I'll check back tomorrow.

Now in Mammoth. This sign (look hard) welcomed us yesterday to the transition from the wide wide open spaces (and many hours of travelling), to the rustic, but somewhat cosmopolitan, small town, but bustling resort, of Mammoth Lakes, California. Charie' (my almost 16 year old daughter) is with me. I'm hopeful that she will enjoy the celebratory atmosphere, and the "attractions" (shopping helps). Things are just gearing up now on Friday morning. I'll check in later with how it all goes.

To actually complete the verse referenced in the 6/11/post - "Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended, but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead,..." This really does (for those of us inclined to see things this way) seem to illustrate the God/self divide. God, and His promises, are before us. our failings are behind us. Christian spirituality calls us to the perceived paradox of (increasingly) fully acknowledging our failings (sins), and wholly forgetting them. From my position, I am encouraged to be encouraged! And I am! Successful solo concert at Kendall Crosslands (private community) last night, where strong connections were made. Look out, and up (as opposed to in, and back)!

Went to the Church Hill Theatre tonight to see Brian Whitaker (and others I know) in the final performance of Hello Dolly. Excellent community theatre. All actors contributed, and some were quite good. Throughout most of the first half, however, I would gaze back and forth between the stage and the ("orchestra") pit and silently ask "What have I gotten myself into?". The same "technique" used to quiet myself when performing; to escape self-focus and connect (w/God) beyond myself, became my path of release. Once loosed beyond self, I am taken to that quieter place, where the still small voice can be heard. Touching God, in a moment, brings comfort to the (called) path.

As if I didn't have enough to do, or keep straight, have now discovered video "annotations" on YouTube. After uploading a video, one can go in and add text boxes, to create an added dimension to the post. Well, you know me, once I get started (absorbed) with something... This video is the first attempt. It appears, however, that the annotations do not export out when a video is embedded somewhere else - like here. click through (on) the video to be taken to the actual post. In addition to (planning to) add this to all new posts, I will try and go back, one video at a time, and see what damage can be caused. Since I'll work backward in (posting) time, you'll find the annotations starting with the latest post on the 2008 channel, and (increasingly) extending back. Things like this are how I seem to handle feeling increasingly stretched with my time :) Go figure.

Just finished practicing. Feels so good (says Chuck Mangione). This is the time, though (to channel Robert Schuller, and) to gaze at the glass as half full. Here I am, at 48, feeling like I'm just getting started (the last 46 years of playing, starting on toy pianos, notwithstanding): new places, deepened and sustained connections, heightened discipline, validation and confidence. Deep inside, I knew this place existed, even if I couldn't get past, or often see beyond, the barriers. Perhaps I say (things like) this ad nausuem, but I feel (almost, sort of) like a kid, with everything in front of me. Okay, that sounds good - I'm remembering now from Paul: "forgetting what lies behind, ...press(ing) forward..." That's the answer to the half empty sense of all this, that can eagerly advance like a dark cloud dimming the view and challenging optimism. As soon as I start thinking anything like: "why am I just getting my act together now?" (whatever that means), it's probably time to pick up one of my Schuller books. Better yet, it's time to remember how I got here - by learning how to begin to rest in God, moving beyond total self focus. This same path will continue to take me to new places of blessing, repentance, and rejoicing. God is good.

Late Tuesday evening. Met for nearly 3 hours today with Steve Arnold; Executive Producing Director of the Church Hill Theatre, where I signed on as musical director for "Once On This Island". I can trace, over the years, the path that has led me here. "Here" could be described as the potential beginning of a new path, but not really. A deepening or broadening of the road travelled - developing connections with those around me through the arts and it's expression - would be a more holistic, and more fitting description. I have previously written here (I believe) that the work (essentially an "equipping ministry") I did in the church, I've discovered, transfers to the theatre. Yes, the work of God; revealed thru and in creation, and creative expression. Now I can coach and encourage in a new venue. As I see it, this doesn't take me off of my path, just, as stated, broadens it. It's all cool.

Today was fun. I was able to work at home most of the day (which also means I can have interaction with my family, at will). A nice lady in Illinios seems to connect with what I do, and has been commenting all over my videos. Encouragement is good (necessary, really, in this business). This is what I've been talking about: The YouTube channel is not a drag or burden because I "give it away". Rather, a place for people to discover, and to begin and build rapport. Discovery is good.

After doing good for a few months, and getting the newsletter out just prior to the beginning of the month, this one will take an additional day or two. Not bad, though. Am staying on track, however, with the video posting. Each month I'll dig up a new post (until the cupboard is bare) from the 2007 video stash to add to the 2007 (original) YouTube channel. Perhaps I'm silly (yeah...), but made the decision upon the New Year to set up a new channel for each year. This keeps the original (and each additional) channel from getting too cluttered. It however, created confusion of a different sort. When new viewers visit one of the 90 video posts on my (original) channel, and decide to "subscribe" (to be notified of new posts), the flaw in my plan is evidenced. My current posting is occurring somewhere else (on my new channel). This is why I'm continuing to post 1x/mo on the original channel. Subscribers will be notified of the new post, which will, in the video notes, inform them of the new channel. It's a solution for now. Yes, it creates new clutter, but that happens to be a gift of mine. I'm just learning how to appreciate it.

Just a brief check in. Home now from recording the radio show (often on Tuesday nights). The show always seems to hang on. Just when I decide I can not longer justify (afford) it, something comes along to give me a reason to keep it going. Honestly, this is not (at all) a "moneymaker". Also, honestly, I don't (desire to) care. This concept has been in my mind for many years, and now realized (and into year 3!), I'll "go down kicking and screaming". This, ultimately, is an exercise in patient persistence. Those who have found the show and listen regularly (a growing number) have provided me with great encouragement. I'm pleased with the current format, which includes sharing my thoughts and reflections on music making. Listened lately?

For all the concerts I'll do, it's pretty clear that, at least for the time being, my YouTube channels will find the biggest audience. And it appears I'm going to make my 50,000 view (by the one year mark) goal a little ahead of schedule (hey - that's not like me), perhaps tomorrow, as the view count continues to accelerate. By YouTube standards, 50,000 views could be a drop in the bucket. The real encouragement here is the continued acceleration of views (now around 2000 weekly), and the connections made and retained with many.

It's fun (for me, anyway) when things are swirling around - and lately, they have been, especially today. The summer gigs are starting to fill in. I might remain a little behind for a time in posting dates out in my schedule, but it'll get there. Speaking of getting there:
-Closing in on my goal of 50,000 youtube views by the 1 year "anniversary" of posting - 6/3/08. Right now at 47,500, and with a pace of around 2,000/week (and accelerating), it's looking good!
-In addition to the gig schedule (public and private) filling out, the long term goal of growth in solo piano concerts is staying on the tracks. Check out the schedule for info on my concert at the Prince (Chestertown) in November. More will be coming.
What I have finally come to understand, however, is that my YouTube channels are my most important concert, making new "connections" daily. The encouragement and camaraderie has been great! Suggestion - if you are inclined to "subscribe" to my YouTube videos (for which you must be a YouTube member), sign up for the JoeHoltsNotes2008 channel. This is where the current posting is happening.

Okay, it's today. My birthday being when it is, it always falls around (or on) Mother's Day. This year we each get our own. This week has had a lighter schedule. Ideally, then, I'll get more office/promo work and practicing in. Sometimes that works. Really enjoyed subbing for my (pianist) friend, Erik Apland for a midweek service at the Saint Martin's Lutheran Church in Annapolis. I miss playing service music. It was a regular part of my life until age 30 (at that point, I had been music director, and organist of my home church in NJ for 11 years). When I stepped down, I became the only 30 year old in my awareness to get a "retirement dinner". I was presented with, not a gold watch, but a commemorative plaque. It was displayed in my office at the Chestertown Church for the 3 years (2003-2006) I was on staff. Now, back in "retirement".

Feeling a bit lighter today. Made it official yesterday that I am taking myself off of the Midiri Brothers jazz cruise in September. It has been discussed "behind the scenes" for some time now. This is wholly "amicable" between Joe (Midiri) and I, as he understands my difficulty with one of the trip "conditions" that turned out to be different than previously stated. Everything else will stay intact. In the meantime, am really enjoying the recent gigging. Expect to see more going on locally with Holly Lane in the coming months. It’s all good.

Thought I'd share this: a comment by Jason Long on my latest YouTube post - and my response (excerpted) -
Jason - "Beautiful Joe. Beautiful. I love the simple things you do, most of all - such as turn the iim7 into a dominant briefly before heading to the V7, among the many other inspiring elements that you incorporate into your playing..."
me - "...Thank you for your comment about simple things. That's how I see it. It all reduces to tension/release, which is my take on what you noticed. I'm not sure I have the kind of mental processing necessary for heavy harmonic analysis (although I like hearing it). In my mind, it's all melodic movement, all the time - and the harmonic thing comes out of that."

Sometime I actually say "it" concisely. Gives me some hope :)

A busy weekend (of gigging) - and fun. Perhaps the highlight was subbing this morning for the regular pianist of Dixieland Direct for a Sunday brunch in DC. It's fun to make new associations - even more so when your contribution is greeted with "Where have you been?". I knew this was coming (more than they did), in that these guys (and in particular the clarinetist) are coming right out of that Benny Goodman era bag that I have been steeped in. They just didn't (fully) know that until this morning. Often, for jazz musicians of a more traditional bent, the sidemen you hire are contemporary jazz guys who know how to adjust, or accommodate - which will fill the bill. In any pursuit, however, it's exhilarating to find people who are coming from the same place you are. It was fun for all of us this morning. Despite the confidence I have as a solo performer, it is nice to be appreciated as a sideman. This is a change from some recent experience (no further comment), and is welcome.
Wrote a long private journal entry the other day about mistakes and miscalculations I have made. and feel on firmer footing now. Keep in touch with my Youtube channels, as they continue to grow. This is the (current) means by which the music touches the most people. Oh - and about that opportunity referenced last post; although it would have been potentially a good opportunity (in Colorado!), I'm relieved that upheaval didn't happen. Continue to feel like I settling back, and digging in.

Sorry for the sparse posting. It's been intense for the past week. A performing opportunity was considered that would have brought major upheaval. Now that I have found out that it isn't going to happen, I'm aware of just how exhausting it all was. There are other (professional) dramas as well. Now, I'll do my best to just plow ahead. Started a recording project at Gary's last night. I should have a new "old toons" CD in time for the festivals. Oh, and months after Jason started posting from Sullivans, the "heavy hand" comes down (so now the video below is no longer viewable). Played with Steve Beskrone there on Tuesday night. In all likelihood, that's the last one, as they are moving to a pop toons format. Amazing that it took this long (9 or 10 years) to happen. Looking forward to settling back in without gazing over my shoulder, or across the country.

Late Thursday night. Enjoyed watching some video posts of my friend, Jason Long playing with bassist Peter Paulsen recently at Sullivan's. The video quality and camera angle are fantastic given the constraints of the gig. Yes, this is THAT Sullivan's, where I (as well as Jason, and others) have played for years since it's opening in (I think) the late '90s. Among the recent decisions, considerations, and reconsiderations I've made is to put myself back into the "pool" of musicians for monthly scheduling. I was given 2 dates in April, and one of them (4/1, which never made my web-schedule) was "sacrificed" to the flu. Now my "anti-climatic return" will be on April 15 (where tax filing day suggests to this armchair psychologist mixed signals over the impact on customer turnout for a pseudo-pricey steakhouse), exactly one year after stepping aside. This video (with great playing by Jason and Peter), although limited visually, still gives a sense of the "feel" of Sullivan's (Wilmington, De). If you have any money left on the evening of April 15th, come on over (the food is excellent). I'll be with Steve Beskrone (bass), same as last year.

Had a good last few days. Over these last few days, especially at the beginning, I may have been reluctant to say that, but now, it's good. Have been down with the flu. Had the "real deal", it seems, this time. It came at a ultra-light time in the schedule, so I only missed a couple of gigs (that I was thankfully able to sub out). Even better than a vacation, in a way, for bringing all of the layers of involuntary thought (both above and beneath the conscious level) to an unusual quietness (taking nothing away from that I am way overdue for a nice vacation). Upon "coming to", an understanding (of the obvious) came concerning some decisions that I likely would have missed. All things work together, you know. "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks". You never know how life changing that is until you purpose to live in it.

Had a wonderful experience yesterday, beginning a new music therapy contract in a Wilmington, De nursing facility. I’ve a long standing relationship there, but only as an "entertainer". In recent months, the AD and I have been talking, at first, casually, about creating a regular schedule which would include 1:1 visits, and now we have made it happen. 4 new residents (to visit each time I go to the facility), and 4 striking responses. As positive as could be. It was exhilarating, gratifying, humbling, and affirming. It all comes together to smack me to realize the importance of this "stripe" of what I do, and my calling to continue on it. I was not planning to cease, but had determined to let attrition set in, and condense my time in this realm (also, stopping all networking/sales work here, instead devoting it all to the public events, and broader audiences). As is often the case, I have moved out ahead of myself. Though I am at a new and substantive (it seems) "place" in artistic expression, it’s not like that triggers a red carpet to be rolled out for me. Of course, I know that, but that doesn’t keep my head from clouding up a little. With regard to the nursing home work: I am aware of the reality that, at a certain point in time, the percentage of "next-generation" seniors will be such that the cultural connection (big-band era-ish) I can make with the residents will no longer be valid. Again, running ahead of myself. Still more work to do, and still time to do it. I took the video camera today to an assisted living facility, and captured this connection (thru the musical expression), and will try to post from this in the coming days. Sometimes I spend too much time gazing at the periphery. I’m not saying I’m not moving forward with growth in the realm of public events, just that there’s still more good to be accomplished (at the same time, perhaps) where I already am. This has been made abundantly clear to me. Speaking of public events, I have learned that I will be given a solo concert slot at the Prince Theatre (Chestertown, Md) in the fall, perhaps November. This will be a good "test" of the weight of these connections (meaning, in part, how many will come). Feeling good tonite, and not hiding God from my own view.

Late on Tuesday evening. Past 35,000 total youtube views today. Looks like I am on track for my goal of 50,000 views by the one-year mark (6/3). Am struggling with some decisions, and the realization that a weakening economy may play a role in these decisions. We'll see. Had 2 senior community gigs today in which I felt strongly connected. I'm really enjoying the solo playing these days.

Time has gotten away from me again. Just to clarify, that is often true whether or not I am busy. Time is the turtle that wins the race, while I, the rabbit (okay...okay...) run in circles, keeping my eye on the starting line as I progress sideways. What..?..at least I wrote an entry today!

Now that's the view you want to have from the asile seat! How often does that happen anymore (3 seats to yourself)? I love flying in to BWI. A nice relaxing trip (makes up for the last one).

The view from the Red Carpet Club.
Upon leaving Monterey this morning, I found myself seated with Bob Draga (clarinetist for the Titan Hot Seven) in the turboprop puddle-jumper to San Francisco, where I had a 4 hour layover. Bob was kind enough to sign me in (to an environment much more relaxing than the public area of the airport). The festival was a success for the Midiri band, who will most certainly be adding this stop to their growing itinerary. I also consider it a success for me, as I was able to overcome my "hearing" problem on stage thru the "spiritual" approach I have been learning; and played probably my best (and certainly most consistent) of all the festivals to date. Feels like it's going in the right direction. Met lots of nice people, too - and saw familiar faces and friends. Hi Gary and Ruthie!

Saturday evening now (my laptop is still on east coast time, so it thinks it's later than it really is - relatively speaking). We have completed 6 out of 8 sets/shows, with 2 more to go tomorrow. This has been (for the most part) very nice. I enjoyed the quiet day of travel, the quality pianos (better than any other festival so far), hanging with my friend, Gary (til 2am, or was it 5am? - my body is confused), and making the music. I threw the video camera up for one set, which happened to be our best (early this afternoon). I'll make it a priority to check it out when I get home, and get a post up from here. The above photo was taken from the pier when I ventured out this afternoon for the obligatory bowl of clam chowder (we are in Monterey, California). Now, I'll go poke my head into the room with the "jam session" (which I usually avoid - I'll attempt an explanation another time), and then grab the shuttle back to our hotel. We lose an hour of sleep tonite (or maybe an hour of drinking for some of the guys), so I'll try to curb the night owl tendencies.

Festival time! So far, so good in the travel department. Am awaiting my puddle-jumper connection in San Fransisco to Monterey. Again, I'm travelling apart from the rest of the crew, but hopefully, we'll all get there (unlike last trip) when we're supposed to. This time the alternative travel was on purpose, as I chose to fly out of BWI instead of Phila. Closer to home, and so much nicer! Other then feeling zombie-esque from being up from 3am (equivalent to midnight here) with insufficient sleep, it's all going great. I'm enjoying the tranquility. Was supposed to take Charie' with me, until I discovered that we booked her over her school play. She (and I) was/were disappointed at first, but now looking forward to trying again for Mammoth in July. I'm missing my gig at the Inn at 202 Dover tonite, but Dave got Jim Lester to sub. I'm sure the music will be fine. Ooh, look, a row of seats opened up to lie down....

Late on Sunday night. Sorry about letting the past week and a half slip by. Enjoyed the third "installment" (one more to go) of the Jazz Vespers Service series at Newark Nazarene this evening. Although I am behind in my YouTube posting, with a significant backlog (and not only here), this is one of those that gets moved to the front of the line (top of the pile). In a case like this, I try to get the first post up the same evening. Am ripping the video now as I write. A little Midiri (wabbit) season here, with a public concert in South Jersey last night, the Vespers tonight, and a trip to Monterey Ca (Jazz Bash By the Bay) this weekend. Am flying out Thursday morning (will leave my house around 4:30am), seperate from the rest of the band (which led to problems last trip, but hopefully not this time). Much to do in the meantime, as the landscape is cluttered. Need to rake the leaves.

Typing this during the production of my radio show, as Rob is working with EQ. Am announcing on the show (to air on 3/2) the release of the instructional series ; Lessons For The Thoughtful Pianist. If you click now, you'll get a "holding tank" page (Max is really good with all that), while I finalize the website prep. Expect it up and running in the coming few days. This is a unique and proven series. Stay tuned.
Also - topped 30,000 total video views today. Am networking with a lot of nice, encouraging people as a result of all this. Encouragement, in this business is good, especially in February.

Late on Wednesday evening (about 1:30am). This week has flown by, and has been one of ups and downs. The music, however, is ever more consistantly in a good place. Here I am with Felicia and Max at the jazz vespers this past Sunday:



even on an "off night" (as this was), the presentation still works.
This was a way fun gig!

As of tonite (just after midnight Tues. evening), there are now 5 solo piano videos on my original youtube channel to have reached 1,000 views. Leading the pack (of solo videos) is the original post of Always, currently at 2,348.
Am running from behind (even more than usual), as yesterday (devoted, ultimately, to "escaping" Bloomington/Normal, Illinois) was to be devoted to particular administrative tasks (on top of the routine) that desperately need to be addressed. Keep, plugging, Joe. Lord willing, I can, as my blood work for my (belated) physical came back great! Comprehensive mineral/vitamin supplementation works for me! Now, back to the grind...(after viewing again the inspiring KJ performance - posted here down on 7/1/07)

More "drama", including getting sick through the night (if it was going to happen, this was the most "convienent time"). Finally drove to Chicago, and, though our flight was cancelled, made it on the last flight out (to Phila) as standby. As it turns out (no surprise, really), lots of empty seats, as others who missed connections are, perhaps, still dealing with their "drama". Stepping back, now - sometimes I think my "career" has a significant stride toward a "turning point", and other times, I wonder who I’m kidding. A soul-searching time this has become ( in Yoda-speak). "We may make our plans, but God determines the outcome" - Proverbs

It was nice to have all our band sets on the ballroom stage with the nice grand pianos. Last night’s trio set (at least it started that way, then Joe turned it into a "jam session") was in the room where I would have played in the "pianorama", had I not arrived late. Speaking of late - we really didn’t think we would get out on time (either), did we? I won’t even begin to describe the "drama". It happens sometimes. Suffice to say, I’m much calmer now. Flights are cancelled out of Bloomington (our "puddle jumper" to Chicago), and Robbie and I made our way (by cab) to a Hotel. Lucky us - an "Olive Garden" was across the lot (skating rink).

Late Saturday night, and I'm now minutes short of being awake (?) for 24 hours. Robbie is out cold, and I'm winding down. Earlier in the evening, Robbie (with permission, of course) visited all 5 performing venues during a scheduled set, staying for one song each (his strategery). He liked much of what he heard. He really does listen, and focus, when it comes to taking in music and art. Before this, he and I hit the swimming pool. A good day with my son. As for performing, no train wrecks. A portion of the trio set was actually very good, we'll see what the video looks like. Only one set tomorrow, before the shuttle picks us up at 3:45pm. If Robbie sleeps a lot (a real possibility), we'll see how much I can get done. Will check in again then.

Uh...... well....... er.........

Here's a new one. After an initial one hour delay, we're told that the flight crew was not given the correct "show time", so they had no idea folks were waiting on them. They call called their hotel to wake them up. Another hour delay. Some of us remember what the airline industry used to be like. At any rate (and after more miscues), we're now here. Missed the pianorama, and arrived 10 into the next (Midiri band) set. After a mildly "grand entrance" for me, it was "down to business". Wasn't how I planned to draw attention to myself :) Now, a break in the action, so it's off to adventure with Robbie.

Perhaps you can tell that I now have a better cell phone camera. Anyway, after some hassle, we were able to rebook on a 6am flight today. "We" means - my son, Robbie (11) and I. Will continue to take advantage of the opportunity to share these festival trips those in my family (one at a time) when I can. Robbie, often difficult, and sometimes impossible to get of of bed in the morning, did very well with the 3;25 am alarm. Now we're waiting again. So far I only missed one set, and a meeting. We'll see what happens today. Did I mention that our flight is now delayed?

Nothing happening. Here we go again. Cancelled flights (but not all) means that some of the Midiri Band made it to the first night of the Central Ill. festival, and some (one) didn't. Back to the "holding tank" to try again tomorrow (at 6am). If no delays, then I'll rush in just in time for the "pianorama". I'll let you know.

Just completed a couple of nights with the Midiri band at the Golden Inn, in Avalon, NJ. Over the last 10 tears or so, we have played (at least) several dozen of these getaway package promotions. I say we, but, in recent years, I "gave up my seat" (for pragmatic reasons), and now I just sub here for Pat Mercuri (the regular guitarist) when he isn't available. When the children were little, we always looked forward to all coming down for a (off season, so no swimming) weekend at the beach. Giving up the regular call was a hard decision, but was the means that cleared my schedule to accept the staff position at the Chestertown Church of the Nazarene that I held for 3 years. At any rate, whenever I am here, I always try to take a walk on the beach. It's a good place to "encounter" God.

Just a brief check in here. Today we topped 25,000 views on my YouTube videos (from June '07)! Let's see if we can't double that by my one year "anniversary" :)
Been getting some cool ideas/inspirations. We'll see which of these "bears fruit".
Yesterday was the last in a )short) string of "gig-less" days. Don 't have enough of them. It was really nice to be home. Although still burning the candle at, at least, one end, it was also a time of consistent family (evening) meals, movies (okay, I watched 2 - but that's an improvement!), and games (finally understand Sudoku - wonder if that means I'm ready to understand music editing software?). Speaking of out of the ordinary - for, at least, the short term, I (along with bassist Dave Ross) have picked up a steady restaurant gig (which works now, before the heavy travelling kicks in). The Inn at 202 Dover, in Easton, Md, is implementing a kind of "supper club" context. We start with Thursdays, beginning on 1/31. Stop in, if it works.

Have been enjoying being home, in an unusual string of days of no gigging. Lots to do, of course, but am enjoying going between things, picking and choosing, "business" and "personal". Came across a thought from a couple of weeks ago: "Here’s how I see myself: Jazz may describe, but not contain me. I wish not to be known by a style or label - but by the connections made by the music I perform." Am increasingly persuaded that these connections - at least for now - are to continue to be maintained and perpetuated thru personal networking. In other words: to continue what I'm doing, and to develop that more fully.
Got a nice surprise a few days ago:



This performance took place in June of '06, only weeks after the initial "enlightenment" about performance as a spiritual discipline, and the resultant "born-again-like" experience of freedom. I knew this existed on video, but was not able to acquire it (though I tried), as I really wanted this to kick off my youtube channel. Now, instead, it (practically) closes out my initial channel, as I move on to a new channel for 2008. Cool.

Made a deliberate determination to leave the last post at the "top of the pile" for a few days (so it would be noticed immediately, and found without having to "dig"), and apparently time got away from me. Sorry about that. I'm still here, and enjoying the gigs of the new year. The past week was especially busy (early January often is) and uplifting, as well as instructive, to me. One highlights of the new year, thus far, is the long planned and anticipated inauguration of a jazz vespers series at the First Church of the Nazarene in Newark, De. Click on the video link, and choose the 2008 page for some youtube posts from yesterday's service. I just finished typing the video description to one of the posts (Smoke Gets in Your Eyes), which became somewhat of an apologetic. It reads, in part:
"Jazz today can mean as many things as there are people giving consideration to it, it seems. For the informed, and the "practitioners", the diversity of opinion often lies in the many points in the development/evolution of the art form that one can "hang their hat". It is not the case, I, and many, would argue - that the "cutting edge", or the fully developed "vocabulary", or any other "litmus test" defines true jazz, and all but the current/contemporary expressions serve as "museum pieces". Not at all. Every point (in the development of anything) is encased in a validity that does not diminish or fade (though it may lose it's cultural connection). Case in point: in this selection, the improvisation is more "guarded", and is formed, in large part, of statements and embellishments of the (toon's original) melody. Because the musicians chose to take this approach - which is grounded in jazz history, and not in sync with contemporary practice - does it become less "jazz", or less "valid"? No (unless your approach to art is akin to a religious fundamentalist - who requires agreement with a certain and specific "truth" before "the hand of" fellowship is extended), and - No (unless you believe that your own personal "litmus test" is more important than the genuine connections that are made)."
It was a fun and fulfilling evening, and there will be 3 more vespers services over the coming months. Come and check it out, if you're nearby.

Now here is something really cool.



The end of the video will provide some context - and going to the post for this video (by clicking on it) will add more.
Zach (Zachoreeno on youtube) is a 14 yr old (I think) pianist who, in addition to his classical studies, enjoys the likes of Harry Connick Jr. and others. Apparently searching for versions of"Sunny Side of the Street" some weeks ago, he found mine - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sug5aeoXYF4 and registered a brief comment of approval. Now aware of Zach, I visited his youtube channel, and saw a young talent who, in some important ways reminded me of myself at his age. I left my own little comment of encouragement (and approval) and went on my way. Toady, Zach's father e-mails me:
"A while back you were kind enough to respond to my son Zachary (aka Zachoreeno)YouTube posting of Godfather Jazz style, and I thank you for your kind words. You have encouraged and inspired him. He recently recorded 'Sunny Side of the Street' and he gives a nod to you and Harry Connick Jr as his inspirations. I thought you might want to see it..."
Go ahead, play it, it's pretty neat. Good job Zach!
At the time that I was engrossed in the "Do You Hear What I Hear" concert project, and living the role of providing inspiration/motivation to those physically present around me, this little seed was out there (out of earshot) doing it's thing. Way cool! Just wanted to share. Now go on, check out more of Zach. I'll be here when you get back :)

Happy New Year!
Had a "triple" last night - first time for New Year's Eve. A little bit of a grind, but, for the most part, quite satisfying. Met someone at my later (public) gig who came to the December production at the Prince. He (like everyone else, including us) was moved by the performance. it felt like we (as performers) had a special secret in our grip, that we got to share with whomever would enter the Theatre. We'll see where it all goes from here. Have you checked out the youtube playlist yet? The entire show - mostly Sunday's performance - is posted (in 19 individual video clips) on a "playlist". Go to the main page for my 2007 youtube site, and you'll find it there. Also - you may notice, when you click the video link (above, or from my website) that you are now directed to the "Joe Holt's Notes Cinema" page, where you can choose between my 2007 performance channel, or my new 2008 channel (video coming soon). 21,000 views now (in 7 months), and still growing! It's a cool thing.

Christmas Eve. The dust settles ("the" defining the pace of my, largely, professional activity over the last several weeks, while other dust - of household Christmas preparation, is stirred). Looking back over the last few weeks, I can see (the continuation of) new discoveries, beginnings, and possibilities. Looking ahead, I embrace providence, and promise. In an e-mail I received earlier this evening from a friend: "... I wish you only the best for 2008. I truly believe it will be YOUR year!!!" We all get our time to live and fulfil our calling. Oscar Peterson passed today. He relentlessly found and lived his purpose. He inspired and blessed us (me, anyway). The "old guard" continues to dwindle. I'm no Oscar Peterson, but do feel some connection to what he represented. As such, my presence "on the scene" is no less important tomorrow than yesterday, and perhaps more so. What defines the "scene" may be, all told, the story of 2008 for me. Let providence and promise play out.

Late Monday night. Where do I start? The "Do You Hear What I Hear" experience was profound, spiritual, and beyond our expectations. I'll probably come back to this subject in the coming days, as it "decompresses". The video post above is of the opening toon on the closing night. One at a time, I will post most, if not all, of the performances in order (from Sunday's concert). Click on the video link to go to my youtube channel page. Expect some musings in the video comments, as well as on this blog.

(Late Wednesday night). Okay, let's catch up a little.
Tonite was "dress rehearsal" for the Prince Theatre concert this weekend. It's difficult to describe how strong this show is. It's worth a trip to Chestertown if you can make it. Really.
Next item - I have just completed listing myself (though still working out "bugs") on the Concerts in your Home website. please pass on the link to anyone whom you feel may be interested (or for yourself, perhaps?): http://concertsinyourhome.com/artist_results_full.html?uid=jjoeholt
More - Just received an encouraging e-mail from Johnny, from which comes this brief excerpt:
"I work in the daytime and generally watch TV in the evening. My TV set has not been on much lately. Joe Holt's Radio Show online is the reason. I started listening to your radio shows in order from February 2, 2006 and I am now up to October 28, 2007. By the end of this week, I shall have heard them all. What wonderful, enjoyable and inspiring music and commentary. Thank you, thank you, for being online. And for being humble and noble, YOU."
Finally - It must be official now, I'm really "in" with "Holly Lane and Shore Jazz". How else could you explain this (from left - Holly, me, John, Mike)?:
http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1310365091
What can I say?

Late Saturday night. This is a very busy time. In addition to the seasonal busyness, the preparations are in full tilt now for our weekend of concerts at the Prince Theatre (Chestertown, Md) next week. For many reasons, and on many levels, this has developed into an outstanding program. I hope you will be able to catch a show. I can hardly begin to describe the sense of increased awareness and connection, as I learn to "listen", while "performing" (praying in public still best describes this). I am more confident of my calling then ever. And, for the first time, really, see it in a specific application (that I am working exclusively to promote), as a solo pianist, connecting with audiences in small(er) venues, and intimate settings. Had an epiphany last night, and have been able to wrap my mind around how to create opportunities for others (you?) to get involved in support of my efforts. One "arena" where I can really see what I do working is House Concerts. These performing events are held in homes that can accommodate a small audience (say, 15 or more), and are usually attended by invitation. The organized house concert movement is expanding, however, most all of these performances are in the singer/songwriter category. So for me, I will work the "grass roots". I will be working to get the December newsletter out (hopefully in the next few hours), and will begin to reach out to make this happen. If this concept gets your attention, and you would be interested in exploring it, please e-mail Kim Mills - Manager, Joe Holt's Notes Records at KimMills@joeholtsnotes.com to get the conversatrrion started.

Here is a toon from last Sunday's Jazz Vespers gig:

The "gearing up" has begun! Also, the encouragement continues. Tonite, all of the loose ends came together in our rehearsal preparation for "Do You Hear What I Hear"; our show at the local theatre in 2 weeks. Actually, it was pretty amazing, and quite spiritual. I've been told (and hear) over and over again that I can get people to express/create beyond themselves. I expressed that poorly, my version would be: I think I (often) know the limits of how far I can get someone to "stretch" in a motivational setting. And, I can (often) accurately envision that which is yet to exist. That's the part of me that keeps showing up, but I (perhaps) have never properly harnessed. Safe to say, we are all "jazzed" after tonite. The solo jazz vespers gig, this past Sunday, was also a successful "stretch", for me. Solo creative playing is my long view focus now (not much change, really). It's all good.

Late on Wednesday evening. As I sit in my office (no doors, and the sound in my house travels very well) I am hearing the sound of all 3 of my kids playing the new "Guitar Hero" derivative game: "Rock Band" together. All things considered, pretty cool! Part of the pleasure, perhaps, is in actually being home, with my family all together (in recent times, not a constant, or a given). My oldest had his first long solo drive back from North Carolina today (having been gone the better part of a week). Combine that with recent travels, and the 5 of us haven't found ourselves in one place very often. It is "Thanksgiving" time, and not difficult to be thankful.

Just received this from Gary (Midiri band bassist and tech crew), taken last Sunday at the Norris Center, in greater L.A. (Ca). This trip was at the tail end of an intense few weeks. For the next few days, i will enjoy some "breathing room" in my schedule, then after Thanksgiving, it really kicks in. All in my local area, however, so it will be (or seem) more manageable. Last night I had a gig with Vessa (and Max Murray), which impressed on me that I have been (largely) out of the local scene for about a month. I was ushered back in, however, with the irrepressible Vessa (closest I will ever come to accompanying Jerry Lewis), and Max - who can actually "keep up" with her (no hope for me there, I just become the straight man - no reference to the gig being in Rehoboth intended). I was not entirely joking when I suggested that the two of them pay a visit to a comedy club. I'll try to remember to add Max's name (on my schedule) to any gig with Vessa that he is on as well, so you'll have the inside scoop. My next public gig is Sunday 11/25 at the Jazz Vespers of the First Presbyterian Church in Pitman, NJ (which will stand in contrast to last night). I'm looking forward to the opportunity to express improvisationaly, solo piano, and am looking to push my own envelope a little bit. Come on out, if you can!

Back out in Calif. With the Midiri boys, this time for 2 shows (2 sets each) at the Norris Theater. Am starting this in-between the shows, but waiting to go on any minute. The band continues to establish itself ever more deeply in this "circuit". The traveling is fun, but will look forward to time off from it. We fly home tomorrow, then not again until Feb. It then will slowly gear up, and once we hitting the fall (‘08), will have reached a level beyond my experience to-date. Am continuing to encounter encouragements across the board. As of today, I have already met my CD sales goal for the month (thanks in large measure to my new friend Harald).
Last night, because of an "accidental" 2 hour nap in the late afternoon (we arrived at LAX at 10am), I was not prepared to sleep, and didn’t get to bed until about 5am. Get things done when you can. A little sleepy, but having fun today.

Late Monday night, and now my first you tube video to pass 1000 views!




This video has made, perhaps, the strongest "connection" of all, and really, more than anything, illustrates what I'm most looking for: that which reaches and touches across divides. Am I a dreamer, or what? Ok, so sue me! On second thought, let's negotiate.......

Late Monday night, and now home. I had 3 sets yesterday (counting my solo set), and by early evening, we were having dinner at the airport (the San Luis Obispo airport restaurant is a pleasant surprise. I'll hope to eat there again). We began our "red-eye" excursion around 9pmPT, and ended in Phila around 7amET. This is the second time I've tried this, and it hasn't worked for me either time (I feel sick most of the rest of the day). The only good thing is being home with my family at night, and being able to put both of my younger children to bed. Makes a dad happy. Yesterday was a happy day too, in a different way. My solo set was well received, and another small step forward for me. The Midiri Brothers band had a good weekend, with good camaraderie among the guys. The rhythm section seems to be making it's own mark, as we continue to solidify around a melodic groove. Back in Ca. in 2 weeks. Now, back in the groove here.

Another long day. We did, though, find an opportunity to grab the (obligatory) bowl of clam chowder between sets. This has been a good festival, on all counts, really. There does seem to be some serious interest in my solo set tomorrow, so we'll see how that goes. Also had some opportunity to talk at some length with a few attendees. This festival circuit is, in large measure, a subculture realm that goes and spins off on it's own. It's still a good opportunity for me right now, I feel, to connect with more people. So far, so good.

Deep breath, and look around. I'm in Pismo(!), and we have completed our fist evening (it is now very late on Friday night). Was effectively home for just over 2 days, with lots to take care of (most important of which was to try to spend some meaningful time with each in my family). Played a gig in Downtown Wilmington (De) w/ Vessa. Successful and much fun, but insured that I would get not much more than 2 hours sleep (I was about average for the band). Plow ahead, and become increasingly silly. That was our MO tonite. Lots of love with the crowd, and the connections with individual "fans" are showing them selves more openly. it's encouraging, and cool.

The day just goes and goes, and I wind up posting in the middle of the night. anyway, the festival is now over, and Gary and I are "tidying up". Today, we played our hymn sets, to an enthusiastic audience, starting in a church in Ketchum that participates in the festival each year by inviting us (and another band for the early service) for jazz worship. If it wasn't so late, I could go on about the experience. the pastor of the Presbyterian Church of the Big Wood, I learned, studied personally under Brian Mclaren. i knew though that something was up when he used the words missional, existential, and story early in the service. A very good message, and a good morning. We eventually got to the "finale", and, although only a brief band selection, I was able to be heard by some of the other musicians (who were waiting their turn), as rapports continue to develop. One final "afterglow" set, and here we are. Final note: THANK YOU to Paul and Liz Midiri for letting me use their laptop this weekend, as i lost the power cord to mine on the way out here. Next week, mine can be the community laptop.

Late now on Saturday night. Today the playing was a little less "on" overall, but we still went over very well. Tried more videotaping today, but as all the venues (I tried recording in) had picture window backdrops (of some fashion), it's all washed out. I still, though, will post 2 toons from the Sun Valley pianorama later this week. I'm very happy with the playing. Got to sit in (actually fill in) briefly on another set this morning - continuing to move toward becoming a known presence on this scene. This festival really takes care of the musicians - the food is too good (no, wait a minute, I didn't really mean that)! I'll be afraid to get on the scale when I get home. I'm also getting spoiled by regular doses of Starbucks coffee (also provided to the musicians, along with lots of booze and liquor, which I pass on). Life is tough sometimes.

Really late on Friday evening. Today was stimulating on multiple levels. Just spent the last hour (or two?) in deep (but wholly navigable) discussion with Gary (it's apparently how we wind down to sleep when we room together). Cool. So was the playing today. 2 excellent sets, all things considered. Yes, only 2 for the band. Everyone else in the band had been given additional opportunities today in alternative settings (big band, mixed band combos, etc). Once I'm in this realm longer (and those who construct these things become more aware), I'll get these opportunities as well. Even so, I would desire the band be put to more use (as it often is - today being somewhat of an anomaly). I'm enjoying the rapport, both on and off stage. I'm growing in my understanding that there are more global things to appreciate about this band - visible more clearly when stepping back and adjusting/changing the lens. As I've said before; I've arrived back on the scene at an exciting time. Now, I need to quell my enthusiasm, and get some sleep (I never told you how late it really is, and we'll leave it that way).

The last of 3 posts tonight (Thurs.). The radio broadcast went really well, and the capacity crowd was very responsive (Joe played his #$@ off). I've discovered that the Denny Farrell "live" broadcast (on Thursday night, featuring the Midiri band) should be available (best as I can figure out) from sometime tomorrow, perhaps in the evening at http://www.staytunednetworks.com/dennyfarrell.html
and remain available for a week. I'll try it out, and let you know what gives. Hope you can hear it.

Let it snow? Today (photo taken at night) has been terriffic, to my tastes. Snowing litely all day, but not really cold, probably because the air remains dry. Most of us walked around comfortable with just our sport jackets during the day. it's been Beautiful.

Okay then, now what do I do?
Encountered this immediately upon walking in to a performance venue today (Thurs). I ignored the sign. No one complained.

Just finished my half-hour "pianorama" set. Just a minute to check in before the truck (transporting the band and the vibes) pulls around to take us to the next venue. I think I got some nice video. I can't post it from here, however, as my current (antiquated and inefficient) system requires me to send the feed first to my DVD recorder (at home). Maybe I can throw something up next week during the two days I am home (good grief!). Also, maybe by then I'll catch my breath (not quite as elevated as Mammoth, but close)! Will check in later.

Now, I'm jealous, I can't do that with my piano! Now that's dedication! Okay, Gary is watching television at the same time, but he's practicing more than I am (having no piano in my room)! It's a little after 11pm Wed. nite in Sun Valley, and we're settling in. We have a busy schedule starting at 11am tomorrow. Jim had a set tonite already. I'll have a pianorama set tomorrow afternoon also, which I'll try to videotape. Will check back then.

Okay, here we go; another festival, another airport morning. So far, so good. This will be my first trip to the Sun Valley festival. I hear it's beautiful; like Mammoth. Also, I'm now learning, we'll be pretty busy (and that's a good thing). Apparently, I have a pianorama(matic-roni-riffic-osocpy) set tomorrow, as well as a radio broadcast for the band - then off we go! I've also learned that it's possible I won't have an internet connection, even with my wireless card (cell phone service is spotty there). If you don't hear from me again soon, you'll know why. I've had a lot of fun playing/gigging over the recent days - and am looking forward to more.

Just a brief check-in (way too) late on Thursday night. Last night (Wednesday), we had our first full meeting (of all the participants - almost) for our Christmas show : "Do You Hear What I Hear", at the Prince theatre in Chestertown. It is fair to say that we are all "jazzed"; especially after a little informal music making that immediately brought home (to all of us) the "magic potion" that is the 6 of us: John, Karen, Melissa, Barb, Tim, and me. We've just started preparing, and I can already say, with sincerity: don't miss this show (Dec 14,15,16)!

The dialogue on youtube - referenced 2 posts ago - continues. As it does, I was inspired to launch again. Here's some of what goes thru my mind:

"I think that jazz education has helped to push pianists into a "combo" - or, I would say, "rhythm section" box. When more contemporary guys, say, Bill Evans, play solo, it still often largely resembles what they would play in a rhythm section. Not to say that's wrong, just a little foreign to me. Some months ago I bought the Bill Evans/Tony Bennett recording "Together Again". Great as it is, I am still getting used to the largely un(self)accompanied piano solos. An aside - I really like Bill Evans when he was with Miles - that rhythm section made him swing (perhaps we should just close that can of worms I just opened)! Anyway, when I was introduced to jazz in the 70's, it was the jazz of 40 years prior, specifically, the Benny Goodman Trio, Teddy Wilson was the first pianist I really paid attention to, then it broadened out, but not before I was first grounded in stride, and (it's essence) self-accompaniment. My challenge thereafter was - I had to learn how to make space for other players, as I became accustomed to filling it all. It now serves me very well, as it is second nature to weave in and out of whatever space is appropriated to me. The walking bass lines came out of developing a melodic stride approach, and my bent on melodic line and leading, rather than harmonic density (back to Bill Evans - master of both!). It kind of bothers me that I don't see everyone else (especially young kids influenced by rock) taking the same approach to bass lines; that of another melodic opportunity. Therefore, soloing over a left hand walking bass is nothing other than polyphony, in my view. A cute anecdote about the disappearance of adventure in the left hand of jazz pianists in the '50s (as it was told to me): At that time, Louis Armstrong began using some young be-bop guys in his band, and frustrated by the Bud Powell/minimalist left hand thing, he mused: "Sometimes I think I should only pay the piano player half a salary"!

I'm glad for these opportunuties to organize my thoughts.

As I continue down the road of presenting myself as a solo player, one name (among others who are better known) periodically comes up - Dave McKenna. If he is new to you, then check this out:



He, like me (but me in a much smaller universe), is known for his left hand bass. I am coming to realize that, like him - although I can play just fine in ryhthm sections - playing solo is my real bag. Aw, it's all fun!

The you tube channel continues to reach new people, generate kind comments, and stimulate interesting dialogue. Here's a wonderful comment I received a few months ago:

"Joe Holt is my favorite piano player of recent years. He "plays with passion - wooing the piano instead of punishing it" as some modern players are accustomed to doing. The piano is to Joe, a sensuous musical companion that mirrors his musical imagination and various interpretive moods. In his "love affair " with the keyboard, you will seldom hear the same song played the same way twice. When you listen to Joe, listen with your heart."

Most of the comments, however, are directed toward a particular toon, and some are more analytical. Here's one from a recent post:

"Nice playing Joe. Great bass lines and swing feel throughout. I especially liked the block chords and some of those altered voicings. Five stars. "

Now I have new friends, and as we communicate, I can take in new things, and sharpen my own thoughts. Here are some of my words in an e-mail reply (to the gentleman above, who is a good "modern jazz" player who also posts on you tube), commenting on attitudes toward differing stylistic approaches:

"There are still occasions (though, thankfully, it seems, less than before) where guys in these different places will be condescending to others (fundamentalism isn't just for religions, it seems). From where I sit, it seems that "modern" (though as a bass player friend pointed out - modern jazz?, no - it's all old!") approaches incorporate the analysis, and then teach it up front in jazz education. This to me, can create both great music, and a potential disconnect. I happen to be one of those guys who "came up" in the '70s, hanging with, and influenced by the old big band era guys (and thankfully, I was in the pipeline before they were - now almost completely - gone). I tried, hard, in the early '80s in study (the only jazz lessons I've had) with a top tier guy, to shift my approach, only to finally understand that you don't re-invent the wheel - and - "modern" condescending guys (not you) aside, it's all legit; the dart just hits the board at a different place. Rod Dixon, a black operatic tenor (of the "3 Mo' Tenors") says something (among much else) that really resonates with me: "When it's all over and they go home, the people don't remember what you sang (played, for us), they do remember how you made them feel"."

I'm enjoying the conversation.

Last week was intense. Sorry for not checking in. My sleep patterns are all fouled up now (and it's way later on Monday night then I should be up) - it was bound to happen. I will enjoy the easier pace of the next couple of weeks, and am already looking ahead (and forward) to the r&r component of next year's jazz cruise. The end piece of last week was my (first, and hopefully not last) duo gig with Dan Tobias last night. Not one to waste an opportunity to spin a plate, I've already posted a clip on youtube (forget the link, just go to my channel page and find it!), and others will dribble out later. The "radar" with Danny was pretty strong, and even a little akin to Joe Midiri and myself (a unique set of circumstances there resulting in a strong musical rapport). last night hit my 2 biggest comfort zones: solo piano jazz, and accompanying. I'll look forward to more adventures with Danny.

Another piece of (just confirmed) news: small, but significant. I've just been confirmed for a solo set at the Pismo festival next month. Part of the deal with joining the Midiri guys (beginning last year) on their already established festivals, and going in with them on all the new ones, is to introduce myself as solo artist, in addition to a sideman with the band. And, in God's providence, I've re-entered the scene at good time. Here's (a portion of) what I wrote in the notes of the video post "Once in a While"; taken from a small solo set (pianorama) at the Mammoth festival:

"These events are also opportunities for me to build connections (as an individual player) with a larger "audience". One step at a time. No wait, this is me I'm talking about. Multiple steps (spinning plates) while stepping on other things. Whatever :)"

In the last post (on this blog) , I referenced working out concepts for just such an occasion (although that night I had in mind a one song feature that I know is coming at the Sun Valley festival the week before Pismo). Now I can take it further, even in this "baby step". It will be cool.

Late Wednesday night. It continues to get more interesting (and exciting!). For all of the details (projects, opportunities, gigs, and....) I could list, the most exciting and gratifying of all is just (most of the time, anyway) sitting down at the piano. I've had a few late nights in a row and (even when I need to get up at 5:30am to oversee my kids getting ready for school) now the creative adrenaline is rolling! Just finished some practicing (providentially, everyone continues to sleep upstairs when I practice late at night, so it's cool), and enjoyed feeling connected. I'm working on some solo concepts for jazz festival features and solo concerts. It feels good. Lots of "news" that's backed up. Here's one "headline": The Midiri Brothers quintet (with me) has secured it's first jazz cruise, and were "starting at the top". Only the preliminary publicity is out, but you'll get the idea: http://www.jazzdagen.com/tours/london_NY_2008.htm
I'll do better about checking in, and I'll save more "news" for then.

Monday night, and a little overdue checking in. Have several gratifying gigs lately, and some potentially interesting video posts are possible over the next couple of weeks. Tomorrow I have the mastering session for the new Christmas CD, and next week we begin the recording for a new Midiri Brothers CD. I'll keep you posted. Back to youtube - Check out the steep climb of the recent post of My Blue Heaven. Although posted recently, the hits keep surpassing - one by one - videos further down the timeline. If you hit "see all videos" at the bottom of the box, you will get 20 to a page and can (as I have been) "monitor the chase". I knew I need a better stride post. Apparently, this one is it (for now, anyway). Passed 4,000 total views today, and Always has joined Somewhere Out There in the "500 club". Am also making new friends, and broadening the network. It's all good.

It's almost like I hear the engines revving, as the cars are about to be cleared over the starting line. Another way of saying what I continue to feel: that I'm being prepared for something - that will be revealed soon - but I don't know what, exactly. I do know what direction, though - somewhere beyond the "starting line" (defining this particular "new beginning" place). There are some new (and improved) concert and gigging opportunities that are being presented for next year (too soon to announce publicly), but I think there's more to it. God's providence is an uplifting anticipation - if you trust God. If not, then it's just the unknown future; where everything depends on you, fate, and luck (or worse, it's all void of meaning). Ugh! I'm really connecting with the playing much of the time, especially last night and today. That's the most fun of all! Some of the the youtube posts give a little taste. What's also exciting is that the disciplines; including practicing, are tightening. All of my efforts in this "one man show" (those I accomplish, plus those I ought to be accomplishing) amount to a boatload of stuff. Of course, I'm not "alone". And help is on the way!

Just "checking in", having completed uploading a couple of videos to youtube. Over 3,100 views now! Have been playing (and will continue to, in the coming weeks) a bunch of 2 pc/rhythm section/left hand bass gigs lately. This concept is reflected in the recent posts, and is fun to watch (for me anyway). On another subject:
The recording/CD production "realm" is kicking back into gear now. Am working with Ned (my graphics dude) on the design for "Do You See What I See". The mastering session (where we create the final recording to be duplicated) is scheduled for mid-September, and the CD should be available in plenty of time for Christmas (also, the Prince Theatre Christmas show; built around my 2 Christmas CDs is taking shape. it's going to be really cool!). More recording in addition - this time with the Midiri Brothers and crew. I'll keep you posted on that one as well. As for my schedule; next week is a little slow (to be expected) - then, it takes off! I'll be poking at the schedule page on my site over the coming weeks to try and catch up (with the new bookings). Now, time to get ready for the gig.

Upon reflection:

"There is a reason that the youtube posting has only begun now, and with (almost exclusively) video starting in January of this year. and it is because now, I am ready. There has always been this connection/depth/substance/uniqueness, in my playing, almost since the beginning. I have followed a unique and God-directed path here. Even over 20 years ago (while dating) my wife (who has little use for jazz, and "modern" playing) would tell me how I am unique from others, because "the piano is an extension of my arm", and I pour myself in. The problem is that I have struggled throughout to gain access to this "place", and very often would find myself tied up in knots on stage, and seldom reaching any level that I occasionally would, and knew was there; as did anyone who played/worked with me. One bandleader found this glaring inconsistency with me very frustrating, and called it my "constipation". The reason I feel as I do now about myself, and the potential I have for uplifting others on a larger scale, is because of the "healing" I have experienced from this "bondage" - starting (but not really) in June of last year. With this healing, I can take a video camera to any gig, and be confident that some worthwhile playing will be filmed. With this healing, I can go into the recording studio knowing that I can record (essentially) an entire album (in this case "Do You Hear What I Hear" - the first "post-enlightenment" studio recording") in one session. With this healing, I can have an "off day" and have nothing to be embarrassed about. This is so radically different from before that it cannot be overstated: especially in recordings, where I couldn't connect to save my life. Many things have come together to allow for the "epiphany", that essentially was this realization: When reaching within myself to get "it", I was reaching in the wrong direction, and, for the most part, making matters worse. It is in escaping myself, and self-bondage, and making the "spiritual" - almost (and I truly liken it to this) out-of-body connection, that I am released from self focus, and free to connect with the God-given gift and potential; as God is now much more "part of the process", am I am learning how to "get out of the way". I have likened this to an "artistic born-again experience". "
That kind of sums it up.

Late Friday evening, and back in my home office. Got my personal schedule all out of whack after the trip. Especially when the travelling increases, this will take some getting used to. Talked to Joe Midiri today. In the course of the conversation he said that "Orange County is the most trad festival that we do." No kidding.
I've been listening intently to the collection of improvisations; recorded each week prior to the radio show recording. If I can get the funds together, I'm going to release a project. Perhaps I'm on to something even more than I realize. It's difficult for me to be objective here, but we may soon know. What would be cool is to get this out at the same time as the Christmas CD. We'll see.

A third post today. Was able to meet up with my old pal George (a competitive cyclist, do you think?) who has lived in California for near to 30 years now. We still stay in touch, and it just happened that he was competing in a race in San Diego today. Although he lives way north of here, the festival was on his way home, so he stopped by for awhile. Believe it or not, George was the original vocalist for "A Couple of Joes Trio". Our funniest moment from that era, perhaps, was when Joe instructed George to say to Joe on mic "Gee Joe, your hair's getting thin", to which Joe would respond, "Well who wants fat hair?". Bad, I know, but made much better when George misread the memo and said: "Gee Joe, you're getting thin!". No one could talk for awhile.

One quick comment about the last post (only a few minutes after putting it up). Just watched it once more, and there it is (again): the "connection" (between each other, and with the audience), and the joy. As my thoughts continue to clarify regarding the previous post: This is not about the performance being tied to an expectation; that anyone has already predetermined what approaches are "permissible", and what (otherwise) is to be dismissed. Not in this video, certainly. The audience is eager to connect with Chick (and company's) creative expression. They want it to be real, and valid, and authentically him. They are there to be uplifted, and elevated - not to demand that creative offerings fit in a small inflexible box (watch it, Joe, you're really venting now). I don't mean to assert that this festival realm is all that, but it does exist, to an extent. I'll bet that if Chick Corea performed a stride piece (stranger things, no doubt, have happened) - which would, if he did, proceed from his artistic integrity and be as real/valid as anything else - his audience would continue to embrace him. At least I hope so.

Chick Corea Akoustic Band - How Deep is the Ocean

Just watched this; pretty amazing, really. The festival is winding down now. Our contribution is complete, and I am back in my room. We don't fly out until tomorrow morning, so I can take my time and also (hopefully) get some things done. While still at the Hilton, I took advantage of unused meal vouchers and ate a really good meal in the lobby restaurant: where there was a band venue (which we played 3 times this weekend). The old dixie stuff; where it's more about the cultural museum than the art was, honestly, starting to grate on me. When it's about being something else (a contrivance?) more than honest expression, it, at best, struggles for authenticity. I could listen to Louis Armstrong all day, but, he wasn't here. Before coming back, I poked around the other venues, and enjoyed some of the individual musicians (particularly in the Titan Hot 7), but overall, had pretty much had enough. To my experience this weekend, we (the Midiri Brothers Sextet) were the most "progressive" band - if for no other reason (but there were some) than we played from the Artie Shaw "book". Good grief! Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for these opportunities (some festivals are more stuck in "fundamentalist trad" than others - some refuse to book our band - some are very open), I'm just venting a little, and I hope it doesn't get me in trouble :) I think, really, what we are doing here will define more and more the future of these festivals, and it seems that many acknowledge that. I'm grateful for how well the band was received, and also me individually. Watching this Chick Corea video did seem to balance things out a little. Or, perhaps, provide some artistic stimulation that I didn't get here. Don't think I'm being too harsh now. Really, it's all good - when it's good.

Late Saturday night now, and we're almost through. Just one set to go tomorrow. There've been some good musical moments, and some others. I have been very well received, which is nice. Yesterday morning I was sitting at my table in the hotel restaurant, and I heard someone from the next table over say (referring to me); "He's the Other Brother" (referring to the CD title of my recent collaboration with the boys). Joe keeps referring (on mic) that since this is my first time out to this west coast festival, I've been disoriented, and go out to the beach each morning to await the sunrise (groan). Spent some nice time today with Gary (Cattley) and Kathy, who, on Monday as the rest of us go home, will be travelling to Hawaii for their 25th anniversary. Cool. On a different topic, the youtube view count is now over 2000, and climbing more rapidly. Some of the comments I am receiving really make me smile. This came in an e-mail (copied with permission) from a fellow musician (a church organist from Canada): " I just had to tell you that I really enjoyed your arrangements. Some of those chords and rhythms were really unique and exciting. I hear a number of influences from Junior Mance, to George Shearing to Erroll Garner and more.. and then there is your own particular style that is really engaging and adventurous at times and very serious, personal and romantic at others. I agree with you with regard to music being a moment with God. I have always maintained that there was no need to be nervous if it is only about you and God. Nervousness is about contending with pride and ego and concerns about "performing" for other people, and unless you get rid of those two things, you never quite get there in terms of the music. You mentioned that you would like to get freer as in the music becoming a public prayer. I haven't gotten there yet, but I do know that when I disregard everyone in the room and make it not a performance, but make it a conversation (for the lack of a better word) between God and myself, the outcome is much better." Neat, huh?

Really Thursday night, and settled in at the Orange County, Ca. festival. Arrived in Costa Mesa around 12:30pm Pacific time, after leaving Philadelphia around 7:30am Eastern time. The point? That it all happened like it was supposed to (that's one out of two)! The festival directors from Mammoth (Ken and Flossie) are here, and invited us (Midiri Band) up to their suite after our set for (room service!) quesadillas and pizza. Joe, Paul, and Jim wound up (as usual) tripping over each other to tell funny stories. Our set tonite was sort of a funny story as well. The festival booked the opening set (after the Mayor's "speech") to feature a stride pianist from England - Neville Dickie - with the band. No one told Neville that the band also had a pianist. He found out when I introduced myself 1/2 hour before the hit. He was caught by surprise, but handled it well. The set was successful, but not without some drama; instigated by the festival directors. What would a festival be without drama (I'm learning)? It'll all blow over. We'll soon find out what tomorrow holds.

Sitting here on the veranda at Baywood after the gig. I forgot how difficult it can be to play an outdoor gig in the summertime. Bryan has given me more stuff (specific arrangements) to listen to, and I'm copying it onto the computer. Excited about the youtube progress. Not everyone appreciates the recording quality of some of the (non-professional) videos, but most get it. It's about sharing my experiences, not about a glitzy professional demo (although the purchase of a high res camera is somewhere in my future). Not everyone I work with is content to be videotaped under these conditions, therefore, my page is heavy on the solo, compared to everything else. In the coming days, I intend to rewrite my channel description to place the emphasis more on my solo performances. This is where the connections I make with others (off the bandstand) are the strongest, so it all makes sense.

Late Wednesday evening, just after 2am. Successful gig with Bryan Clark at the Globe tonite. Already have repeat bookings. Speaking of repeats; just got word that we'll (the Midiri bunch) have a return trip to the Orange County festival next year. That's pretty good, since we're still a week away from this year's festival. We're flying out next Thursday (hopefully) morning. As with Mammoth, I'll try to check in more often when there. Sorry I've been negligent over the past week. It's kind of like I never recuperated from the last trip. I think the biggest thing for me is the disruption of routine. Not only do the festivals put a big hole in my schedule, they also bunch things up on either side. As the trips may be coming more frequently, it's just something that I'll have to get used to. Hopefully tomorrow, I'll succeed in updating my schedule, at least for the coming months. Don't expect the August '08 gig to go up just yet, though. Because of how this is structured, I need to create each new month in order; meaning that I can't effectively post August until July (and everything properly before that) is up. Soon, though you'll see at least March go up, as we just booked a new festival (for us) in Monterey, Ca. Lots of stuff happening. it's cool. speaking of cool; my youtube videos have now generated over 1600 views, and the pace of new views is increasing. More to come on this. Okay, time for a nap.

Tuesday morning, and now home. Same deal as Friday; it's difficult to find time to do much anything but travel on those designated days (referring to yesterday: Monday). Getting on-line, especially, for any length of time seems to not work at all. At any rate, left (relatively) early, at returned home especially late; landing around 1am, and pulling into my driveway around 4am. It is possible, if not likely, that I will be able to post a solo cut from the "pianorama" today, and perhaps, a full band cut or two later this week (needing to take the time to review these sets more thoroughly). Got some nice video of the scenery on the car trip from Mammoth to Reno. I may play around with the possibility of posting some of this as well. Now home, all of the other ongoing concerns/responsibilities/quandaries crowd in rather quickly. Time to get busy. No coffee yet, but my sentences are still complete. Not bad.

Just after midnight now (Pacific time) on Sunday; taking a break from packing . We will leave (relatively) early in the morning. These festivals are a "mixed bag" for me, and I have a lot of jumbled emotions (at times) concerning this. I often say about the MB crew; to a person - at some level - it's about the art. This is the foundation upon which we build our performances (even in the "high shtick" zones). I can't say that I find much of this in some of the bands on this circuit. The bands/musicians that are artistically driven are why I'm here (at this point on the path). Although I shared a "build a ???" set tonight with some fine musicians, I can't say that the event was presented (by the "leader" of our set) as "about the art". It was, at times, frustrating, at least, on stage. I "needed" to watch my favorite Keith Jarrett video upon returning to the condo to regain some "perspective". There, now I've vented. The festival is officially over, and God will continue to do his work. I do feel good about the continuing application of "performance spirituality" (just made up that phrase) that allows me to connect in a performance where I'm as mad as **** about some of what's going on onstage. On that level, tonight was a success.

It all goes so quickly, especially when you lose the first day. All of our sets are completed, and the festival is now concluding. This year they have added a Sunday evening "build a band" buffet; taking the personnel from 3 bands and rearranging them ("build a train wreck" may be more fitting, we'll see). Actually, it could be fun. I'll try to check in briefly afterward. We (the MB sextet) were very well received. My short pianorama (solo piano set) went very well, and even there, the airline debauckle remained the storyline. Got some of the band, as well as the piano(-roni-riffic-licious- oscopy)-rama on video. after getting home and editing, I'm sure something will show up on video (youtube). The altitude bothered me again this year (perhaps more so, having no time to acclimate). It dawned on me this morning: they offer oxygen at all the venues. My headache is gone! Now I know.

Okay, now it's Saturday. So, what happened? How do you document a whirlwind? We left for the airport before dawn again (roughly same time, second day in a row), and this time we had a plane. By now, though, we had been told at least a half-dozen different accounts of the location of our luggage. Part of the problem is that the airline that cancelled us re-booked us on a different airline, which, upon check in, refused to accept us, as the flight was overbooked. Going back to our original airline got us seats the following day, but by this time each was insisting that the other had our bags (containing everything necessary including instruments and music), and that TSA rules forbade us from retrieving them. It turned out that our bags flew on both airlines (via a connecting flight), and were in Reno when we arrived. From Reno, a 3+ hour drive in the rental cars, to take us straight to our 2nd scheduled set (we had already missed the first). We all looked pretty ragged (and some of us, including me, hadn't showered in a couple of days). We literally ran out of our cars upon arrival, and immediately understood why you are told to allow time to acclimate to the altitude. I remained out of breath and week-legged for several hours. We did, however, pull off an entertaining set, and later, once slightly settled, a strong musical set. Our "harrowing tale" has become the talk of (a portion of) the festival, and the people are very responsive and appreciative. Needless to say, I didn't sleep well last night (this was expected, as last year, perhaps due to the altitude, I could only sleep for 2 hours at a time), but don't feel bad, really. We just returned from a hosted breakfast, and soon today's sets begin. I'll check in again when I can.

Curve ball. The short version (be grateful) is that our flight was cancelled, and we can't get out again until tomorrow morning. This situation is complicated by the 7 of us (the Midiri brtohers sextet plus Elizabeth - Paul's wife: the "band mom") needing to travel as a "clump". The airport is a 3 hour car trip from the festival; which provides rental transportation from Reno (necessitating that we all stay together). Thankfully, we were not stuck in some "far away place", we just (eventually) went back home (or some related place). One of the challenges here is that neither airline that we were bounced between acknowledges that they have our bags - however - we've been "assured" that they'll be waiting for us in Reno. More to come.

Now, a "season" of more intensive posting, perhaps. Sitting here at Phila. Intl. Airport, early Thursday morning) awaiting departure for (final destination) Mammoth Lakes, Ca., and the "jazz jubilee" (with the Midiri Brother's sextet). We're quite a sluggish bunch sitting here. Pat Mercuri (guitarist) drove straight from a orchestra gig in New York last night. No sleep for Gary Cattley (bass) either. I got 2 hours (more than most here, it seems), and not feeling that bad really. My body thinks I just took a nap, it seems (rather than getting an insufficient night's sleep). Wait 'till it finds out! I just added a wireless modem to my laptop, so I should be able to stay connected throughout the festival. I'll try to check in often. Now, time for coffee.

Really, late on Friday night; much later than I intended to stay up. Always stuff to take up time, you know. I "broke down" and ordered a wireless network broadband modem (the USB version of an "air card"), and spent a large amount of time getting the thing to work - and there still is an account issue that I'll have to resolve tomorrow; you know how it is. I wanted this in time to take to the Mammoth festival (next week). Last year I learned how little public wi-fi is available in such an isolated town. Now it's covered. It's something how involved with, and how dependant I become on the Internet. The Youtube channel is taking a lot of attention at the moment, and it's exciting to watch it come together. The online demos have already helped me secure a worship service at Dover AFB (no public access, hence it does not appear on my schedule) this Sunday. In addition, it appears to have helped spread the anticipation, as I am "checked out" on Youtube in advance. 18 videos now, and near to 1000 views. Check it out!

Solar

Okay, since I mentioned Keith (last post), as being a "place" of (my own) increased awareness (allowing my perception to begin to sharpen to recognize this elsewhere); here is the video that first really captured me. I watched it many times over the first sitting, and couldn't tell you how many times since. Even today, as I just watched, I was hit with an understanding - concerning my own playing - that makes me even more eager to get to my practice time, which is where I'm going next. I'll be thinking about what I've just realized for awhile. As it "unpacks", and words can be assigned to it (later), I'll attempt to share.

My Silent Love - Erroll Garner 1962

You tube is great! Not only because I am developing a forum here to share what I do, but even more so for all the artistic richness to be found. I now know that "taking in" Erroll Garner is like some say about me; watching is part of the experience. What's going on with him is not unrelated, in my eyes, to what I see in Keith Jarrett (and discovering that first has helped me see it here more clearly). It's connection, and communication, and joy.

The summer (gigging) calender has filled out fairly well, and I'm grateful. What has come on particularly strong lately is the sideman work. Sometimes I don't appreciate these gigs as much as I should, given my personal goals concerning growth and opportunities as a soloist. "We may make our plans, but the Lord determines the outcome" comes to mind here. At any rate, and for whatever it's worth and whatever it means, I continue to feel in ever deeper command of my playing/expression. What began over a year ago as a personal discovery (epiphany) regarding the spiritual nature of music making, and the ability to move beyond myself in the process, has become an increasing opportunity to make a difference - I feel - with these (more deeply developed) connections. I really do feel that I'm being prepared for something. Not knowing "the outcome", the best I can do right now is to pursue artistic growth as much as possible (because I'm just getting started here), and aggressively promote (I get distracted from some aspects of this, sometimes) to the extent that I understand how. Related to this, my "you tube" (video) "channel" is now up to 7 posts, with a steady stream of visitors. These visitors create new traffic on my website, and that's a good thing. if you check out the videos, let me know what you think. Thanks!

I realize that I have not commented on my re-connection with Bryan Clark. It really seemed to be a thorough professional (not personal) parting, given the external circumstances (much of which I will refrain from comment - see the "eulogy" in the 11/12/06 entry). I can't help but think, though, of the oft-used line (slightly altered): "please be patient, God isn't finished with this yet". Bryan and I (as individuals) continue to seek God's direction concerning our respective careers, and here we are (deja vu all over again). Bryan is among those who consider me "first call". I'm honored, and am grateful for this quality of work. I'll be on many of Bryan's gigs this summer. Come and check it out, if you can.

Okay, just to prove that I've corrected the screen dimensions, here's # 2, this time with the Midiri Brothers. Look for another post (on you tube) next week, with continued variety. My you tube "channel" is now linked on my website, or you can save this URL: http://www.youtube.com/joeholtsnotes .

I've been poking at this for months - and aside from making me wider that I already am (now I know, yes it IS possible. Okay, not fair, I have been losing weight.), we did it (Thanks John Ewart and others)! Soon, and over time, the youtube library should grow. I won't post them all here, but will, eventually on my site. Check in from time to time, and let me know what you think!

Actually, late on Friday night. An atypical day - no gigs. A good day, because I got to hang with my kids. Most notably, with my youngest, Robbie, at his 5th grade field day (I seldom spend serious time outdoors in the sun, and so I seldom think of sunscreen - any more than I consider an umbrella when it's raining. Now, however, I am two-tone.), and then with my oldest, Joe Jr. for his driving test (delayed gratification for him; he's 18). He did great, and now he's off (hopefully not to the races). When my day really will be Saturday, I'll be confronting my oversight that 5/26 is the Saturday of Memorial Day weekend. I took a gig in Rehoboth Beach, De. Beach traffic. Yippee. Once I get there the gig should be fun. Hmmm, I'd better sleep some.

photo courtesy of Bruce Gast

Here I am with the Midiri Brothers and Co. for the Artie Shaw tribute concert on 5/16. Several things "went wrong" that evening, but we/I got through. One of the "issues" was the piano. After the grand piano was wheeled onstage (prior to the hit) we discovered that it hadn't been tuned. Since the upright (pictured) was on the stage initially (then returned to replace the out of tune grand), it was speculated that the tuner may have unwittingly serviced the wrong piano. A little deeper digging suggested no tuning happened at all. Fortunately, the upright was in decent tune, and playable (enough). In my experience, some pianists are "fussier" than I about what they are willing to play. My take is: I may not like the piano, but if so; it all becomes relative. Everyone else who performs (there) has to deal with the same instrument. Usually, if the keys come up (soon) after they are depressed, I'll deal with it. The show must go on!

Years ago, I wouldn't have "gotten it". Now, I'm drawn to keep replaying this.

Had 3 great gigs last weekend. All different, but all the same - they were all great. In each one, I felt fully "in command" of my role, and it's fulfillment. A solo piano house party (I only take these selectively) began the weekend on Friday night. This was a surprise birthday dinner for a wonderful person whom I have gotten to know through my senior work. Presenting me to her revealed the surprise. That was cool. Later in the evening, a few guests (it was a small party) sat around the piano creating, in effect, a mini-concert. In the small world department, a gentleman was in attendance who has attended several of my concerts at the Mainstay. He smiled a lot, and said (repeatedly) to those around him: "I've paid money to hear this guy!". On Saturday, I enjoyed a very strong and successful evening with Bryan Clark (and Mike McShane on drums). On Sunday afternoon, I was up in Easton, Pa. (150 miles north of me) for a concert performance with the Midiri Brothers sextet. I was taken aback a little by how many attendees greeted me by name prior to the hit. I also "observed", pleasantly, how this new command (it really is like an artistic 'born again" experience at this point) allowed me to deal with "curve balls", and other unexpected stuff that would have, in the past, tied me up in knots on stage. It seems that the "constipation" (discussed in prior entries) has found a spiritual cure.

Another "subconscious mind" account (pt. 2 from 3/30/07 post) - this one's my favorite:
There is always stuff happening in there, just above and just below the "squelch line". Often there will be a repeating tune "playing". If I become aware of this, I may begin humming it. One morning, upon awakening, I was consciously aware of "Out of Nowhere" playing "in the background". That was okay, I can handle that. As I get out of bed, however, then "I Love Lucy" quotes (involuntarily) on top of "Out of Nowhere". I stopped in my tracks, and audibly said something like: "Get me out of here!" It didn't work. Bruce Kaminsky calls the sometimes incessant quoting (it just happens, and others are often aware of it before I am) on gigs my "tourettes". Perhaps this just proves him right.

Just in case I may have mislead you into thinking that I have somehow elevated myself above being effected in any way by the prowess of others in comparison to my own (although I'm sure that you knew better) - this is intimidating. Believe it or not, I have worked with a sax player who can (at times) play as many notes per square inch as Joey DiFrancesco. Years ago, on perhaps my first gig with this sax guy, I understood enough to disengage allowing his (million note) solo to impact me, or alter my "game". In fact, I purposely played very few notes (once it was my turn) until I got my bearings. This was the beginning of learning to be comfortable and secure in my own thing, and to have a better sense of what that thing is. I've played some recent gigs with Dave (the sax player) now - some years later - and find my self identity much more secure. I'm playing more authentically, because I'm more fully connecting with it, and not trying to be anything but the connection. Boy, is there freedom in that! The funny thing is, when playing with Dave now, some "bursts" will happen, on occasion, where I might actually be keeping up on the note count meter (which just makes us smile) for a(brief)while, but that's not the point. If it were, it wouldn't be real.

This clip is cool if for no other reason than the display of raw prowess. But it's more than that. This is solid, hard in-your-face swinging. This is JD's "real". Notice that they're having fun, and making the connection with each other? Kind of a common denominator in all this, wouldn't you say? Elvin Jones - drums, John McLaughlin - guitar, Joey DiFrancesco - Hammond organ.

Hmmm. A friend forwarded this to me today, and it works. From the point of (as a youth) responding to the prompting of God, until today, has seen the gradual (relatively speaking) "evolving" of my approach to, and understanding of the "Christian" faith. Years ago, I began feeling increasingly discomforted with wide-sweeping (doctrinal) dogmatism. This, to me was just the honest response to the reality that what we "understand", in detail, does re-form, at points, over time. However in the face of this (again, if we're honest), many proclaim their (current) understanding as TRUTH; uncompromisable, down to the last detail. The realization (again, years ago) that this is ultimately illogical (and not fully alive or human) helped to set me on the path on which I continue to travel. Only a few years ago did I finally sit under (and then serve with) a pastor who "allowed" (yes, encouraged) "thinking", (and the resultant "struggling") - because he was being honest as well. Does this mean "all truth is relative"? Not to God. Does this mean that I don't care what is (psychically - as opposed to metaphysically) true - no. It does mean, however, that the burden is off of me. God has a hold of me; the God who knows truth, and is truth. I no longer (at least in purpose) place any conditions on God, that He shape all things historical, eternal, metaphysical, and Holy to conform to my finite, flawed understanding of the moment. Of course, I do have understandings, and conclusions, and ideas, but these days, I try not to worship them. In a recent sermon (at a church that I occasionally visit) , I recall hearing "Jesus is both the means and the destination". Truth is God, and God is Truth. This is a real resting, to me, and a laying down of my "burden". Now some (who may not have an esoteric bent) will scoff at this. Here is where the writer on religion Huston Smith nails it: "Esoterics understand the need for exoterics, but the reverse does not hold".

"The Law of God doesn't change, no, but our perception of it is never static; it does and must change as the centuries pass. new study, new insights, new metaphors and new acknowledgements of past limitations can bring us closer to the living, breathing, and dynamic nature of Scripture as we seek to meet it's radical demands." - Anne Rice

See what you started, Jonathan!

Stumbled across this one. This features one of my "heros" in the role that most inspired me: pianist. For some, this video may be an exercise in "who?, what?". That's June Christy singing, Mel Torme on drums (and not singing!), and Nat King Cole on piano (and not singing!). Mel Torme seems to think he's Gene Krupa, but Nat knows exactly who he is. More sharing in the fun.

Wanted to point out one of the recent website additions (that might go unnoticed without "stumbling" over it): "news headlines". A webpage already existed titled "news", previously housing a list of new releases. Now, when you go, you will find first a new "news release" each week (usually). As well as for your information; the articles provide ready-made press releases. When it seems right, on a given week, I'll include the "news" here also. Here is today's entry:

4/14/07 - Headline - "Joe Holt's Notes on the Radio" to broadcast live performances"
On April 29, 2007, "Joe Holt's Notes on the Radio" will broadcast the first in a series of monthly installments that will showcase selections from a diverse roster of live performances, captured on recording. The majority of these selections will be heard exclusively on Joe's show, and accessible at any time after the original air date through the radio archive at www.joeholtsnotes.com .
The air schedule of showcased performances (subject to change):- April 26-29, 2007: Bryan Clark at the Dover Downs Hotel, Dover De. on 3/23/07, with Joe on piano.- May 31-June 3, 2007: The Midiri Brothers at the Sacramento (Ca.) Jazz Jubilee on 5/28/06, with Joe on piano.- June 28-July 1, 2007: Joe in concert, solo piano, at the Mainstay, Rock Hall, Md. (during the annual Dixieland festival) on 4/14/07Throughout the remainder of each month, the show will continue in it's current format, which features; in addition to the request segment (which will also be heard on the remote recording shows), selections from one of Joe's CDs, and the "Audio Trailers" segment; an exclusive look into Joe's private collection, upcoming releases, and the recordings of his musical colleagues. For an on-air schedule, visit www.joeholtsnotes.com or call 877-JOE-HOLT.

To access all the headlines: http://joeholtsnotes.com/New-Releases.html , or visit the "news" page on the site.

Enjoying the intensity of this weekend. Had the Mainstay ("dixie fest") concert yesterday afternoon, followed by a "Bryan Clark Trio" gig (with a local sax player sitting in). We worked hard (intently), and had fun. This morning, I participated for the first time in the morning worship for the local Presbyterian Church. This is cool, because this is where a good portion of the local arts community attends church, and with whom I feel a growing bond. Soon, I will head up to Sullivan's. The connection (musically/spiritually) is solid, and that's the most fun (and intense) of all. I must continue to remember the part of God working through patience, and enjoy all the moments. The "intensity" will ease up a little (for a day, anyway) after tonite.

"All you can do with an electronic instrument is have fun - because they're toys" - Keith Jarrett

I knew I liked him. I cannot exaggerate the difference in the entire process (for me) of making music (of which a large component is reacting to what I hear) with acoustically vibrating strings vs. electronic tones (which, no matter how "realistic" a sound sample, lack the acoustic richness and complexity). It's very different to play an electronic keyboard - yet, at times I am "forced" to (meaning that I am willing, at times, to surrender to the pragmatic). It ends up being substantively different, and not (at all, sometimes) what I would play, or hear, acoustically. Having, nearly 6 months ago, begun playing requests to lead off the radio show, I made the decision to allow myself to put cuts of solo keyboard stuff "out there" (if only over the air and on-line streaming. A "real" piano is not available at this time). Now I have collected enough reasonable tracks to produce a CD of these on-air requests. I think I'd like to do it. We'll see.

Okay, I've got it now, all the video posts are intact. If you're new here, I began posting selected videos (from time to time) of those who have influenced and inspired me (and "brought home" the glory of God). These begin on 12/24/06 (scroll down from here, or access the archives)

Speaking of Ella...
(and, unrelated to this video...)
Happy Easter!

It looks like all the posts (except for Art Tatum) are intact again. Thanks, Max for looking into this. Since I referenced the book with which I'm struggling (but plodding onward), here's a little excerpt (removed somewhat from it's context, but it still works) that might make you smile:
"...I respect and admire the late Charles Schultz. In case you are visiting from another planet (or are very young, which some consider the same), Charles Schultz is the "father" of Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Linus and Lucy, and the rest of the "Peanuts" gang. He is also a role model for a Christian in the arts. Who would argue that Charles Schultz, in his life and work, did not have a positive impact on our culture, and on the lives of many people. If nothing else (and there is plenty), he alone (as the decision was fully his – "if we don’t do it, who else can?" – against the advise of others) is responsible for millions hearing the Gospel account of the birth of Christ, ending with: "and that’s what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown". As an aside; I had finished a concert where, on stage, I had spoken briefly of my feelings regarding Charles Schultz, and was "mingling with the audience". A woman (I’ll call her Mary) then told me of when she was newly married, and attended church for (perhaps) the first time in her life with her new husband. Being that it was Christmastime, the minister read the familiar gospel account of the birth of Christ. During the reading Mary became excited, and leaning toward her husband whispered "Listen honey, He’s quoting Linus!"." :)

Editors note (that sounds weird):
I have been having trouble lately with the Google videos which I have previously posted. Now, all of the links appear to be broken. Even if I can re-establish these, I am not aware how to insert them back into the existing postings. I suspect that I will give up. In the next day or two, I suppose that I'll edit out the clips, and preserve as much relevant text as works, unless someone has a suggestion.

Working on disciplines. That, in itself, has become it’s own discipline. The "creative" mind is so active. In the time it takes me to get started with anything, multiple new concepts/ ideas/ opportunities are already revealing themselves. It’s not anything that turns on or off easily, it just is, at least in my world. I occasionally find an opportunities to "observe" my sub-conscious operate. One of these opportunities will occur when I am driving somewhere, then snapping out of auto pilot to (temporarily) not recognize where I am (even though I haven’t physically strayed off course - only in my mind). In that moment, I first acknowledge that it’s okay, because, I will soon realize where I am. I then make a conscious determination to not try to deduce where I am, but rather to enjoy the moment of trusting, and continue driving. Then it happens. I don’t will it; I don’t even want it, but I can "feel" my mind doing a "search", much as we would to on a computer. Though I am not consciously doing this, I am aware of "data" being analyzed and compared, even as I try to dis-engage. Then, alas, in probably not much more than a second, perhaps less, I become keenly aware of exactly where I am. The subconscious mind is not one to be tamed, especially mine.

Oscar Peterson Quartet with Joe Pass, live, in "Cakewalk".

In the chronicle of influential people and events to my journey, the story of my "experience" attending a concert involving Oscar Peterson needs to be told. This occurred in the mid-1980's, and was important in shaping my understanding of God's general revelation (through nature/creation). The following account is copied from a(n unfinished) manuscript that I have been working with for some time, and am now stuck: a book about music in Christian worship. This video, although not as powerful a statement (to me) as the performance that I attended, does provide an example of the Oscar Peterson magic, in a similar format (the trio that I witnessed did include the great guitarist, Joe Pass plus John Heard on bass). "Some years ago, I attended a concert, ripe with enthusiasm in the (then) young, (always) aspiring jazz pianist. I was going to hear Ella Fitzgerald. No one sang (or sings) like Ella, and I was anticipating a delightful experience. I didn’t mind waiting through the opening "act"; the Oscar Peterson Trio (at that point I was only slightly aware of Oscar) to get to Ella. As the first notes sounded, however, the words of Duke Ellington describing his first experience with (the greatest jazz pianist, and arguably, the greatest musician of the 20th century) Art Tatum are fitting: "I was quite unprepared for what I was to encounter". Being "blown away" doesn’t even begin to describe how I felt, and reacted, to what I was hearing. Stunned and amazed, yes, but that was only the opening to an "experience" much deeper; an "experience" of worship. Not corporate worship in any Biblically regulated sense, but private worship in the "I’m in the presence of the Lord, and it is too wonderful for me" sense. All that I heard and experienced transcended Oscar, or Joe Pass, Or John Heard, who were but the vessels of God’s revelation to me (not at the church, but) from the stage. No one preached a sermon, no one read from the Bible. It wasn’t necessary. God was speaking volumes to me. I was impressed with Oscar, yes, but I was (and am) in awe of God. What beauty, what heights of excitement, what emotion (by the time Ella performed, I was exhausted)! Oscar was a window through which (to me) "God’s attributes" were clearly seen. I am without excuse; I must, I am compelled to praise, honor, and worship God."

Something interesting happened tonight, and not completely unexpected. I've decided to push a little harder, and take every concert opportunity like it's the concert of my life (not that I don't take performing seriously, or with intensity, but doing the volume of gigs that I do can turn the focus sometimes into something more like "plowing") , even if it's in a small town (though quite upscale) retirement community: Heron Point in Chestertown. I tested the waters with some stuff tonight, and was very well received. Usually, in senior communities I have put a particular emphasis on some of the entertainment elements, in addition to the playing. I think this was (initially) partially borne out of some insecurity. This time I tried a new "treatment" for illustrating jazz improv.; demonstrating "freedom" and "structure" (and, of course, I understand that these elements are never disconnected in real performance, but I think the illustration still works). I included, for the first time (together) a classical piece, followed by a "no-agenda" improv (especially with specialized, or specific audiences, it's hard for me to drop the agendas). It's hard for me to stay focused on even a very easy classical piece (Moonlight Sonata, first mvt.), and I certainly can't memorize, because I'm such a conceptualist (I would very quickly slide into expressing the essence, and lose some of the specifics), which means, no matter how well I may know whatever it is, I have to read. Everything was connecting with the audience tonight (this new "spiritual" performing freedom will take me far, I increasingly believe), but the best received selection was; you guessed it: the classical piece. I've never performed any of the classical stuff as part of who I am, but have had a nagging sense that I am in an artistic position to make a go of it now (this nagging started years ago, and is independent of my "discovery" of Kieth Jarrett).. It will take a lot of work because I am a poor reader (relative to where everything else is). Hmmmm. Time, and (God-inspired) patience will tell. It's all good.

Just a brief check in here. I'm sitting in the activity office of an assisted living community that I regularly visit, and doing what I so often do , that messes my schedule up (daily); trying to do (or cram) "one more thing". A professional friend of mine (whom I'm choosing not to name), with whom I deeply identify, and whose professional life is similarly structured to mine, says about himself something to the effect of; "I'm the most inefficient person I know". Funny, because he's such a go-getter with a successful business, but I understand. To be a creative thinker often comes at a price. My own inefficiency can be deeply frustrating, but the creative "zone" that my temperament has carved out (the flip side) is equally rewarding, and more so. I'm having fun (unless I'm trying to organize things, or anything like that). Like I've said: not talent, but imbalance.

It's really something when things begin to "come together", and how many "individual components" meld and shape into what we grow to understand. As I wrote last night, and observed what I was writing, I realized how important that brief exchange with John had been in opening my mind ("be transformed by the renewing of"). As I wrote, I also thought about an exchange that I had years later with a pastor friend. He was expressing (in general terms) his frustration with a difficult board member. He said; "Joe, I'm seriously thinking that this man may be demon-possessed". I calmly (sometimes a feat for me) responded that the human condition/"sinfulness", would be a more than adequate explanation for the situation, and he should probably deal with this person form that position. He stopped and thought for a brief moment than said "Yeah, Joe, you're probably right". Thanks, John.

It's getting easier, I think; this "zone" of music making that I'm calling the "spiritual" place. Easier to "find", and easier to "navigate". Easier (the use of this word makes me slightly uneasy, suggesting I'll, eventually, find a better way of getting this across) meaning that I have begun to re-tool my mind. To take some liberty with a Bible quote (only for clarity here, and not, to my sense, a departure from the meaning) "Do not be conformed to the slavery and creative/societal stifling of self absorption, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind...". Can I substitute "the slavery and creative/societal stifling of self-absorption" for "this world"? Is the "problem" here the bogey-men and scapegoats without, or the human condition within? Many years ago (when some of my thinking resembled "fundamentalism", more so than today), I was having a conversation with someone after a church service, and was overheard to reference the devil as the culprit for some personal struggle (the detail of which I don't remember). At that point, John (his real name, but his anonymity is secure) interrupted, correcting me that the "problem" was not anything outside of myself for which I could cast blame; I (or specifically, as he pointed out, my own "sin") was the problem. Not much you can say to someone who is dead right (except, eventually, thank you). It is not easy to acknowledge slavery to self, except in the embracing of God. I feel that, as a performer, that I have "access" (potentially) to so much more that even a year ago (I have felt especially connected in the gigs of the past few days). As I have been absorbing this "lesson" over the past months (and sharing parts of it in this journal with you as I go), I sense now that to which I must presently focus, as this journey continues: patience. God's perfect work is brought about through God-inspired patience. I am only beginning to learn. God is truly at work.

If I get this finished within 11 minutes, then the posting date will be correct. At this point, the pressure of not having posted in over a week is driving me to type more so than any well developed idea. It is kind of zoo-ey, but (at times, at least) there's a certain comfort zone to that. My 2 oldest are pulling late nights at school all this week on the tech crew for the musical which opens Friday night. Another chance for Joseph and Charie' to work together (on the same "team") at school. It makes a dad happy. Something else that makes me happy (in a zoo-ey kind of way) is that the gigs have been piling in now. It's fair to say that some of that is a result of the increased sales agenda that I've imposed on myself in recent months. Still not making all of the goals, but moving the right way. A little legalistic here, but at least I've checked in. Okay, 2 minutes to go...

My friend, David Sparks (the "Irregular Chaplain") sent me this link:

http://media.pbs.org/ramgen/wnet/religion/week1025/profile-hi.rm?embed

He said he thought of me as he watched it. Cool. It is interesting, for sure, to see someone else account their own recognition and application of what you yourself have discovered and are sorting out. Good grief. Looking back at that last sentence, it seems that I may have again succeeded at the most awkward possible delivery of an idea. It's a talent I have. You should hear me attempt this in person... on second thought...

Looking back at the entry for Feb. 3, I am reminded about the remainder of that evening. We had a set at 9:30pm, and another one at 11:30pm. The earlier set was in the big hall, with the nice grand piano (all the others were not so nice, but they were pianos). At one point in that set, Joe Midiri announced that he and I were going to play a duo version of "Stardust". That's fine, conceptually, however I knew that he was playing this in reference to a cut on their latest CD, where he plays the tune as a duet with his guitarist; Pat Mercuri (who wasn't on this trip). I did it once before with Joe, and he presented me with Pat's lead sheet. That was helpful, because Pat (and almost everyone else) plays this tune with different changes that I do (it's that "solo piano bubble" thing), and I'm just not good at keeping straight (in my head) how other people do things ("Tenderly" is another one, where I prefer my changes, and can never keep straight how most everyone else plays it). So, when I discovered that we didn't have Pat's lead sheet, I panicked. I don't usually play this in D flat (though I probably should), but I can get by with that. The real issue, to me, was that I know that Joe likes to hear the changes he wants, and I was going to have a hard time trying to go where I wasn't sure. This was all happening quickly, so, while in the tune, I waved off him sharing the first (Db) chorus with me, since I was feeling insecure, determining to wait for the next go around in F. I don't like to curve ball people on stage, but I did, and he just kept playing (and I kept accompanying). All this was adding to my own sense of being pseudo-overwhelmed on the edge while we were playing. The point of recounting all of this is to note that all of that "nervous creativity", rather than pulling me away from the "spiritual" place of music making (where I must escape any inward focus) apparently drove me deeper into it. I say that primarily because of the response of all the other guys to me (and my solo) as they came back on stage. Paul Midiri later told me that, as the four of them were sitting at the table listening, at one point, and all together, they "gasped". Hmmm. It seems weird to write this, and again I do so to document my own discoveries, and attempts at growth. Just goes to show, perhaps, in general terms, that God is always there, and accessible, no matter what. A few days ago, I was riding in the car with my 10 year old son; Robbie. He initiated a discussion about the wind, and after a few minutes he said: "You can't see the wind. you can always see the wind". Amen, Robbie. And so it is with God.

Saturday night, and I'm home. It can happen. While out in Decatur, I watched one of the other band's sets. The banter at one point, after just finishing an up tempo tune: "What do you have that's slow ?" "February". Of course, slow is relative, but it's true. My "slowest" months are generally February and August. Not everyone experiences a slow August depending on where their gigs come from, but February is generally slow for most of "us". I enjoy being home. it is difficult, however, to practice the administrative gifts that you don't possess.

Picked up the Easton paper that came out over the weekend while I was in Decatur. I'm looking forward to reaching folks here "at home". In addition to the Sunday slot, from now thru Oct., I'll gat a "bonus play" on Saturdays at 5pm (on WKDI).

Now home, on Monday evening. Lots of reflection yesterday and today. The weekend was successful for the Midiri Band, and a positive experience for me. What follows are ramblings from my diary from yesterday (Sunday):

Sitting in the little puddle jumper airport in Decatur. Jimmy’s lego monument will likely remain until some other youngster gets a hold of them. Feeling pretty good, all things considered.. I am suspicious that flying, and the resultant changes in air pressure has some effect on my sinuses and the recurring headaches. Today will continue the "clinical research". Noone was particularly chipper or bubbling with enthusiasm this morning (prior to the set), but the final set of the festival (for us) went very well. I learned my lesson that I must insist on moving the piano to allow for a direct "line of sound" with the rest of the rhythm section. Last night I trusted the sound tech to give me what I asked for through the monitor. The only thing I really got was frustration. This morning, on the same stage, we repositioned the piano so I could hear the rest of the rhythm section, and it made all the difference. Ultimately, I am reminded that this scene isn’t the goal for me. I now wonder, though, if I am as clear enough on what my ultimate goal is as I could be. Unrelated: "Do not pass go, do not collect $200, go directly to hell" - John Sheridan, describing the joys of figured bass analysis prior to Rameau’s (in the 17th century) establishing the triad chord as a (new) entity and starting point. I drew attention to myself by laughing at that from across the room. Wonder if I would be better served interacting with everyone else rather then isolating myself here at the computer. Probably so. Still waiting for the flight. Boarding was supposed to begin 12 minutes ago, departure in 18 minutes, and we haven’t been put through security yet, neither is our plane here. I don’t like flying. Ah ha, here comes a plane.

And fun it is. Today's schedule is a little lopsided. We've played (only) 1 regular set (50 minutes, at this festival - too short, really) and 1 short (20 minute set) so far. The larger piece of performing for us today is still to come, and it's already 9pm. One set at 9:30, and another at 11:30pm. Following that is a late night jam session, which I will not attend, since we're checking out tomorrow, and our last set is at 11am (ish-esque). These festival environments (with the Midiri Boys) have been the most difficult occasions to let go of any personal agenda on stage and find the "zone"/spitirual place. It isn't terrible, though, just not (yet) what it could be. I'm sleepy. Time for bed - not.

Although this will post as Saturday (after midnight, so what else is new), this is the close of day (evening) 1 of the Central Illinois Jazz festival. We flew out today, and had (but) 1 set this evening. Too short, but it went well. It's nice, we all have our own rooms here in the conference center (this time I remembered to bring the earplugs in case I was rooming with Jimmy - a sometimes loud snorer, but it turned out not to be necessary). It's the most fun playing with the Midiri band when they have a 4 man rhythm section (drums, bass, guitar piano), which is not the case here. These days it's much less typical to see guitar and piano in the same rhythm section at the same time, since both instruments fill the same role. The boys used a 4 piece rhythm section for much of "A Shaw Thing". There are some good moments. In any case, though, this weekend will be fun.

It has been a couple of months since I've seen, or gigged (performed, if you prefer) with Bryan Clark. My gig with him tonight went very well. He was quite strong, and it appeared that I made a positive contribution. Although I am no longer working with Bryan's band (specifically, the New Legacy Jazz Band), I have accepted Bryan's offer to accompany him solo piano, on occasion. Tonight was fun. I really like solo accompanying, but that doesn't mean that I don't enjoy myself in other accompaniment settings. I just received the recording from Felicia Carter's concert at the Prince Theatre (in December) in which I played behind her w/ Tommy Cecil on bass. That was a good gig too. In coming weeks, I'll be featuring a couple of cuts on "audio trailers" segments of my radio show. Speaking of the show, one week to go before I debut on WKDI in Denton (Md). I am looking forward to being heard in my local area. I remain optimistic about the future. God is good.

Teddy Wilson with Vienna concert Dutch Swing Band - 1976

Came across this video tonight, and although seeing it for the first time; the longer it played, the more it connected itself to me. In the year 1976, this represents a dead-on to what had grabbed me and pulled me into jazz. A couple of years before, I had stumbled across dixieland music on a Sunday evening radio program. For weeks, perhaps months, I didn't know what it was called, I just knew that I liked it (and listened faithfully). That, and Scott Joplin rags provided the place to jump off when I met Joe Midiri, and he "introduced" me to Teddy Wilson, and the Benny Goodman trio/quartet. Teddy Wilson was my first concentrated exposure to a jazz pianist. I listened, and listened, many times to all of the original trio and quartet recordings, and became known (in the late 1970's) as the "kid who plays like Teddy Wilson". These days, I couldn't imitate him no matter how hard I tried. I wasn't imitating him then, either (I could never easily go in and out of "bags" What I hear is what I hear, and what I play is what I play). He was, at that time, my main reference point. As my awareness grew, so did the "pool" of musicians who grabbed my attention, and participated in shaping my outlook. This shaping is ongoing. it continues now, and will continue until I'm done. As for this clip, it has it all: solidly swinging, a strong dixie-style "front line", and Teddy (Regarding this representation, I've always felt that his best work was during those early Goodman days. This cut, however, appeals to me more than many of the later Wilson recordings I've heard). If I was in that audience in 1976, I would have felt right at home.