After the concert last Sunday night at the Washington Grace Church of the Nazarene. I felt as warmly accepted and connected as could be, in an entirely African-American congregation. Also obvious was (is) God at work. The Pastor, in introducing me, read aloud a letter I had written a few weeks before, addressed to the church board. It wasn't intended for that purpose, and as such it felt somewhat out of place. Here is an excerpt:

"Thank you for the opportunity to come and present God’s (general) revelation at Grace Church in a few weeks. I am a Christian musician, and as such, one who strongly believes that all organized sound (just as anything else in God’s creation) is inherently revelatory, and God-glorifying. Being a full time performer for over 30 years, I have long ago reconciled the dilemma of what kind of music a Christian should be involved in: (which is) the highest substantive level possible. I do not believe that God is best served (or honored) by (simply) imitating the shallowness of (any) popular culture. Just as a preacher who is knowledgeable of the Word, and desires to spread it, that it may be used of God according to His purposes; the artist (in my understanding) can be confident that God’s creative wonder also “does not return to me void, but will accomplish the purpose for which I sent it”. Every day, both within and outside the (organized) church, I am blessed with opportunities to, both: connect with God in musical performance, and experience this connection shared with others. When performing in a church setting, I have the additional privilege to speak of these blessings, and openly proclaim God at the center of all of it."
Maybe I was also feeling the (especially familiar right now) sense of loss of control (over the presentation/circumstances). If my self-analysis is close here, than I'll go further, and assume that it was helpful. I have to let go, in order to hold on. Have journaled here, over the last few years, some of the journey of learning to get outside of myself/out of my own way. That's a work of God (grace).  

Ouch! Perhaps this is how Santa feels after Christmas. Perhaps someone should help him get up. As we were reminded in church today, this is the 9th day of Christmas, but now, of course, our culture has moved on. January 2, 2011 certainly suggests that we look ahead, and not back. I'm trying to learn a thrid way, though: to stand (be) still. Okay, so I have a short attention span, and it may be, at best, 2 minutes at a time. That works - in fact, the briefest encounter with stillness will unite us to the moment. And in the moment, is eternity.