I'm in a good place. Work is flying at me, and better opportunities (than, at times, I've had to settle for in the past) are presenting themselves. I feel like I'm solidifying that "next level" of playing. God knows what I am being prepared for. I can only speculate. We'll see. Although I have more gigs (if that's even possible - and it appears so) and am busier than ever, I feel (almost) like I'm on vacation. I was aware of (to some extent) the pressure that the church staff gig put on me, but now to have it removed really brings it home. I'm having fun.

The last entry has provoked a variety of feedback, both on the blog and off. With the exception of Jonathan and David (my chaplains), there is (at least) an undercurrent of "the Bible is truth" in response (if not polite disagreement) to my emphasis. Before you go there -yes, of course, Jonathan and David affirm the Bible, and so do I. Jonathan has a phrase 'let the Word be the Word - let the Word do it's work", which is all about resting wholly in God, and getting out of the way. It's the getting out of the way part that (I believe) rubs human nature the wrong way. That is certainly my struggle, and underlies what I was addressing last time. I wasn't writing to stake a theological position initially (that stuff just came out), but rather, to share in my excitement of my newfound understanding. The phrase "falling out of self-absorption" has stuck with me as the essence of it all. Related to all this, my friend, Bruce Kaminsky (whom I often perform with at Sullivans, and with whom I've developed a genuine bond) will say "that two people can make music together is proof of the existence of God". I say, upon "falling out of self-absorption" it (whatever it is) is truly spiritual.

It's spiritual. I get it now (by this I mean that the door has been cracked open to a new and growing awareness). The "zone" to which I sometimes refer is, indeed, a spiritual place. It appears that Christians (of all people) resist the concept of things spiritual. Yes, I said that. My Christian heritage (which I treasure) emphasizes "truth" (this worked for me, until my "inner existentialist" took over). A pastor friend recently said to me, after a conversation with another Christian: "his spirituality is (holding his thumb and index finger about a half an inch apart) about this wide. Can we say this? Isn't Christianity about resting in "truth", and if you have the "truth", you are spiritual (negating any broader spirituality to which people often refer)? 30 years ago I would have said yes. Now I would read that and see small-minded arrogance. You may call this simply semantics, but read "God" over "truth" in the previous question, and the universe opens up. I have learned to re-think the idea of "getting it right". God already has gotten it right, and now I can rest in God. Okay, now restate the question: Isn't Christianity about resting in God, and if you have God, you are spiritual? Yes. It is in the spiritual place that (my) music is made. I am now beginning to understand to find the "portal" away from myself (in multiple respects), jumping off of musical construction (in my mind), to fall out of self-absorption, and into a spiritual place (with no formulas, incantations, or verbally invoking the name of Jesus. He is already there). Communicate in the spiritual, and you reach people spiritually, This has always been the deal with me, but now I get it. My last few gigs have been eye-opening for me, in this regard. God is at work. I love it.

Good morning, routine. It's about 7am on Thursday morning. Charie made the bus, and before long, Robbie's alarm will go off. I'm in my office, staring at the computer screen. Why? Because I don't have time, really (routine, you know) to even begin any of the half-dozen or so directions my mind and soul have been exploring over the past few days. The flight home, having by then embraced the shedding of routine, was a time of reflection and healing. This trip was a provision of God to me, and the introspection continues. As for physical stuff, I pulled in my driveway around 4 am Tuesday morning. I succeeded in getting up at 6am (after going to bed at 4:30) to awaken Charie for school. Since then, there have been periods of fog, followed by haze. The sunshine, however, is always there (here).