If I get this finished within 11 minutes, then the posting date will be correct. At this point, the pressure of not having posted in over a week is driving me to type more so than any well developed idea. It is kind of zoo-ey, but (at times, at least) there's a certain comfort zone to that. My 2 oldest are pulling late nights at school all this week on the tech crew for the musical which opens Friday night. Another chance for Joseph and Charie' to work together (on the same "team") at school. It makes a dad happy. Something else that makes me happy (in a zoo-ey kind of way) is that the gigs have been piling in now. It's fair to say that some of that is a result of the increased sales agenda that I've imposed on myself in recent months. Still not making all of the goals, but moving the right way. A little legalistic here, but at least I've checked in. Okay, 2 minutes to go...

My friend, David Sparks (the "Irregular Chaplain") sent me this link:

http://media.pbs.org/ramgen/wnet/religion/week1025/profile-hi.rm?embed

He said he thought of me as he watched it. Cool. It is interesting, for sure, to see someone else account their own recognition and application of what you yourself have discovered and are sorting out. Good grief. Looking back at that last sentence, it seems that I may have again succeeded at the most awkward possible delivery of an idea. It's a talent I have. You should hear me attempt this in person... on second thought...

Looking back at the entry for Feb. 3, I am reminded about the remainder of that evening. We had a set at 9:30pm, and another one at 11:30pm. The earlier set was in the big hall, with the nice grand piano (all the others were not so nice, but they were pianos). At one point in that set, Joe Midiri announced that he and I were going to play a duo version of "Stardust". That's fine, conceptually, however I knew that he was playing this in reference to a cut on their latest CD, where he plays the tune as a duet with his guitarist; Pat Mercuri (who wasn't on this trip). I did it once before with Joe, and he presented me with Pat's lead sheet. That was helpful, because Pat (and almost everyone else) plays this tune with different changes that I do (it's that "solo piano bubble" thing), and I'm just not good at keeping straight (in my head) how other people do things ("Tenderly" is another one, where I prefer my changes, and can never keep straight how most everyone else plays it). So, when I discovered that we didn't have Pat's lead sheet, I panicked. I don't usually play this in D flat (though I probably should), but I can get by with that. The real issue, to me, was that I know that Joe likes to hear the changes he wants, and I was going to have a hard time trying to go where I wasn't sure. This was all happening quickly, so, while in the tune, I waved off him sharing the first (Db) chorus with me, since I was feeling insecure, determining to wait for the next go around in F. I don't like to curve ball people on stage, but I did, and he just kept playing (and I kept accompanying). All this was adding to my own sense of being pseudo-overwhelmed on the edge while we were playing. The point of recounting all of this is to note that all of that "nervous creativity", rather than pulling me away from the "spiritual" place of music making (where I must escape any inward focus) apparently drove me deeper into it. I say that primarily because of the response of all the other guys to me (and my solo) as they came back on stage. Paul Midiri later told me that, as the four of them were sitting at the table listening, at one point, and all together, they "gasped". Hmmm. It seems weird to write this, and again I do so to document my own discoveries, and attempts at growth. Just goes to show, perhaps, in general terms, that God is always there, and accessible, no matter what. A few days ago, I was riding in the car with my 10 year old son; Robbie. He initiated a discussion about the wind, and after a few minutes he said: "You can't see the wind. you can always see the wind". Amen, Robbie. And so it is with God.

Saturday night, and I'm home. It can happen. While out in Decatur, I watched one of the other band's sets. The banter at one point, after just finishing an up tempo tune: "What do you have that's slow ?" "February". Of course, slow is relative, but it's true. My "slowest" months are generally February and August. Not everyone experiences a slow August depending on where their gigs come from, but February is generally slow for most of "us". I enjoy being home. it is difficult, however, to practice the administrative gifts that you don't possess.

Picked up the Easton paper that came out over the weekend while I was in Decatur. I'm looking forward to reaching folks here "at home". In addition to the Sunday slot, from now thru Oct., I'll gat a "bonus play" on Saturdays at 5pm (on WKDI).

Now home, on Monday evening. Lots of reflection yesterday and today. The weekend was successful for the Midiri Band, and a positive experience for me. What follows are ramblings from my diary from yesterday (Sunday):

Sitting in the little puddle jumper airport in Decatur. Jimmy’s lego monument will likely remain until some other youngster gets a hold of them. Feeling pretty good, all things considered.. I am suspicious that flying, and the resultant changes in air pressure has some effect on my sinuses and the recurring headaches. Today will continue the "clinical research". Noone was particularly chipper or bubbling with enthusiasm this morning (prior to the set), but the final set of the festival (for us) went very well. I learned my lesson that I must insist on moving the piano to allow for a direct "line of sound" with the rest of the rhythm section. Last night I trusted the sound tech to give me what I asked for through the monitor. The only thing I really got was frustration. This morning, on the same stage, we repositioned the piano so I could hear the rest of the rhythm section, and it made all the difference. Ultimately, I am reminded that this scene isn’t the goal for me. I now wonder, though, if I am as clear enough on what my ultimate goal is as I could be. Unrelated: "Do not pass go, do not collect $200, go directly to hell" - John Sheridan, describing the joys of figured bass analysis prior to Rameau’s (in the 17th century) establishing the triad chord as a (new) entity and starting point. I drew attention to myself by laughing at that from across the room. Wonder if I would be better served interacting with everyone else rather then isolating myself here at the computer. Probably so. Still waiting for the flight. Boarding was supposed to begin 12 minutes ago, departure in 18 minutes, and we haven’t been put through security yet, neither is our plane here. I don’t like flying. Ah ha, here comes a plane.

And fun it is. Today's schedule is a little lopsided. We've played (only) 1 regular set (50 minutes, at this festival - too short, really) and 1 short (20 minute set) so far. The larger piece of performing for us today is still to come, and it's already 9pm. One set at 9:30, and another at 11:30pm. Following that is a late night jam session, which I will not attend, since we're checking out tomorrow, and our last set is at 11am (ish-esque). These festival environments (with the Midiri Boys) have been the most difficult occasions to let go of any personal agenda on stage and find the "zone"/spitirual place. It isn't terrible, though, just not (yet) what it could be. I'm sleepy. Time for bed - not.

Although this will post as Saturday (after midnight, so what else is new), this is the close of day (evening) 1 of the Central Illinois Jazz festival. We flew out today, and had (but) 1 set this evening. Too short, but it went well. It's nice, we all have our own rooms here in the conference center (this time I remembered to bring the earplugs in case I was rooming with Jimmy - a sometimes loud snorer, but it turned out not to be necessary). It's the most fun playing with the Midiri band when they have a 4 man rhythm section (drums, bass, guitar piano), which is not the case here. These days it's much less typical to see guitar and piano in the same rhythm section at the same time, since both instruments fill the same role. The boys used a 4 piece rhythm section for much of "A Shaw Thing". There are some good moments. In any case, though, this weekend will be fun.