Sunday, July 16, 2006

This is likely my last opportunity to log in during the festival. One event to go. We had some down time, so a group of us took the Gondola ride to the top of Mammouth mountain - 11,000+ feet. The air back at the village doesn't seem so thin now. I expected to get a headache or something up there. That didn't happen, but shortness of breath came almost immediately upon exertion (like: walking). I am also struggling out here with the application of "spiritual" music-making that I have come to understand. It makes sense, though; "falling out of self-absorption" doesn't always just happen. In fact, given what I understand about human nature, it is counter-indicated. Stepping outside of (all?) self-concern is a spiritual exercise in and of itself. "Self-absorption" is indeed deep rooted in us (me). It is the reaction of the human condition, it seems, to reach down into the well of one's self when struggling with whatever to find the strength, or clarity, or whatever we need. That doesn't help to relieve the "trapped" condition, that I now understand to be the source of my trouble. The first step in successfully stepping outside of all this, I've discovered, is do remember it's necessity.

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