Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Just finished practicing. Feels so good (says Chuck Mangione). This is the time, though (to channel Robert Schuller, and) to gaze at the glass as half full. Here I am, at 48, feeling like I'm just getting started (the last 46 years of playing, starting on toy pianos, notwithstanding): new places, deepened and sustained connections, heightened discipline, validation and confidence. Deep inside, I knew this place existed, even if I couldn't get past, or often see beyond, the barriers. Perhaps I say (things like) this ad nausuem, but I feel (almost, sort of) like a kid, with everything in front of me. Okay, that sounds good - I'm remembering now from Paul: "forgetting what lies behind, ...press(ing) forward..." That's the answer to the half empty sense of all this, that can eagerly advance like a dark cloud dimming the view and challenging optimism. As soon as I start thinking anything like: "why am I just getting my act together now?" (whatever that means), it's probably time to pick up one of my Schuller books. Better yet, it's time to remember how I got here - by learning how to begin to rest in God, moving beyond total self focus. This same path will continue to take me to new places of blessing, repentance, and rejoicing. God is good.

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