Monday, July 12, 2010

Took this picture a few days ago, of the cornfield just up from my house. After a ridiculous amount of water over the winter (record snowfall), it had been seriously dry around here for a good while. Hadn’t mowed my lawn in weeks. That small convenience to me, however, represents a nightmare for many farmers, and others. Day before last, we got a brief, but substantive period of thunderstorms. Yesterday, the skies opened up, and we got some real rain, that we really need. Brings to mind the Biblical proverb I often think about: “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire comes, it is a tree of life”. Going through my old (personal) journal entries today, and found this, from my pastor (Sara):

“Jesus is endlessly trying to free us from what doesn’t matter. To trust in God is to be willing to hang out with mystery. Whatever tomorrow brings, will always bring God with it.”. I have always believed that God “goes with me“. I also have carried a strong lack of confidence in my ability to (thoroughly) handle the matters of business and administration before me (even as I am confident in the effectiveness/validity/worthiness of the “product/service” I deliver). It’s been a long road (struggle), this “career/calling”. In the end (though, perhaps not at a particular given moment) my confidence in God (to succeed) exceeds my self-confidence (that failure is inevitable). This field represents my view of this, in that, with all the withered brown, some vital green remains. I’ve had, my entire professional career, this unusual (to “normal people”) ability to see the positive/possibility, over the obvious (to “normal people”) overwhelming problems/issues (often referred to as my “rose-colored glasses“). This field does not represent my view, however, in this (though I’m not a farmer, so I don‘t know for sure): I'm not confident for the green to overcome the brown, no matter how much rain we get now. The field is probably lost. For myself (and all who remain in hope), I believe in redemption. I can remain, and grow with the green. As times become even more uncertain, I can be genuinely optimistic about the future. So much has been going on, in my world (that I have been less than diligent in journaling here), and it remains, a wonder-ful ride.


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